Glen Matthews: Actor/World Traveller Excitement Blog!

I Have Moved!

2009-03-08T09:19:00.001-07:00

All of my blogging efforts can now be found over @ glenjm.wordpress.com ! GO!

GlenJM Photo-ography!

2008-12-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, I decided to treat myself to a brand-spanking-new Canon Rebel Digital SLR camera!.. Afterall, anything Avril Lavigne endorses will forever be welcomed into my household.

For my first photographic assignment, I decided to head to my old stomping grounds: The Lunenburg War Memorial Arena and take some photos of some intense hockey action...

Please enjoy these photos of young boys...

More to come! I'll make sure to post photos from Sundance (Jan. 15th-25th) when I go down! PEACE.

Treevenge Clip Online!

2008-12-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

Hello people, it has always been thought that TREEVENGE would be released onto the interwebs shortly before Christmas, but the damn thing just can't seem to stop getting into film festivals (thus preventing it from being placed online).

Today, Jason Eisener has an early Christmas present for all of you, a one minute taste of the film...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCcTGdw0FGI

Only Human Shooting COMPLETE

2008-12-13T19:20:00.001-08:00

Principal photography for the feature film ONLY HUMAN (Bug-Eyed Monster Productions) has been completed just in time for some sweet holiday hangouts. The film written & directed by David Swan will be released mid-2009.

A little birdy has informed me that a trailer for the film can be expected early in the new year.

Over the holidays, I am planning on meeting up with Mike Nauss, and we will work more on ENDURE 2012 & more.

In completely unrelated news, I'm buying myself a Canon Rebel Digital SLR so I'm gonna start calling myself a photographer soon. Stay tuned for photographic photography. Yeehaw!

Sorry gays: I'm going to Sundance!

2008-12-08T20:14:00.000-08:00

It's official, Jason Eisener's TREEVENGE is going to be a part of the 25th annual Sundance Film Festival (January 15th to 25th)!! My face is going to get ripped apart on the big screen at Sundance!

TREEVENGE will be paired with the feature length Norweigan film Dead Snow about snowboarders battling Nazi zombies... yessss.

You can watch the trailer for Dead Snow by clicking riiiiiiiight HERE.

Rather than be a complete idiot and miss an opportunity like this, I'm taking my ass to Utah! So stay tuned for blog updates up the ying yang from Park City, Utah starting in mid-January!

PS. Fuck Prop 8.

NHL vs. Star Wars

2008-12-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

The following is an opinion peice; if you disagree with what I say, don't even bother informing me of your dissent, I will already know...

As a Canadian, I often times find myself disheartened with the state of hockey's place in North American sports. It's non-existent. During the last Winter olympics, there were more viewers watching NBC for Curling than Ice Hockey. Curling?!

In the case of the National Hockey League versus Sean Avery, I will side with Mr. Avery. Don't get me wrong, the man is a cocksucker. No mistake about it. He sucks cocks. But things are pretty grim for a sport when their most controversial performer is an editor at Vogue magazine. Whose to blame?

THE STORY: In a pre-game interview, Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery stated “I’m really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada,” he said. “I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the game tonight.” He then walked out of the locker room.

Avery was referring to opposing player Dion Phaneuf's girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert.

I've stared at this image and have not been able to decypher the purpose of the combining sunglasses and swimming.

OH SNAP, right? Not so fast.

The end result has been that Sean Avery will endure a six-game suspension and be forced to attend anger-management sessions before being allowed to play in the league. Anger Management? He used the term "sloppy seconds" in reference to an ex-girlfriend.

The ruling has been handed down by the executives and directors of the National Hockey League. That's him, one of the big-wigs, Gary Bettman... you can see the passive aggressiveness in his eyes.

The NHL is in a continuing downward spiral and the only reason that the NHL is getting any coverage this week is thanks to the term "Sloppy seconds". Now I know there's the usual patriotic response of "fuck the States, baseball is boring yadda yadda", but that doesn't change the fact that the NHL is managing their superstars to be polite boring pacifists (off-ice) in one of the most aggressive sports known to man. Have you ever watched a hockey interview?...

ZERO CHARISMA.

Now I'm not asking for pro-wrestling style promos or vignettes, but the need to shut down any thought of outright honest bad blood or opinions?

DION PHANEUF IS SLEEPING WITH SEAN AVERY'S EX-GIRLFRIEND ELISHA CUTHBERT (awesome setup), and Avery called her "sloppy second"(oh fuck, shit is gonna go down tonight). Man, I can't wait to watch this match-up! Oh wait, Avery's not allowed to play because the NHL doesn't allow personality (damn).

The NHL has effectively created a league of clones, and thus, in essence, a Clone War... and we all remember how much clone wars suck... Clones aren't enough! The NHL needs to learn from the mistakes of Mr. George Lucas and allow their Darth Vaders, Boba Fetts, Jabba the Hutts and even their Count Dookus have their idiotic opinions heard by the masses; otherwise, the NHL will continue to die a slow media death with their dignity intact.

Fuck this, I'm watching Curling, at least they yell.

GlenJM vs. Politics

2008-11-28T17:28:00.000-08:00

Hey folksters, last week a friend of mine got me to make her an animation for her in-class presentation regarding the Canadian FISHERIES ACT (which I have learned is batshit insane).

The end result is a mixture of Photoshop, iMovie, and construction paper...

If you're viewing this page on Blogspot, then just watch the video below, and if you're reading this as a note on Facebook, click THIS LINK to watch.

RIGHTEOUS.

2008-11-26T17:02:00.000-08:00

Some very awesome news today, as I am set to take part in the short film "RIGHTEOUS" written & directed by Cory Bowles (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1027430/). RIGHTEOUS is inspired by the play of the same name that Bowles wrote and starred in for the 2007 Atlantic Fringe Festival.

This will be Cory's follow-up to his short film "THE SCAVENGERS", which was easily one of my favourite short films I've seen produced locally; so I'm pretty damn amped on the prospect of working on this!

Still screen from THE SCAVENGERS.

As always: that's all I know for now, so I'll shut my ass up. More to come!

ONLY HUMAN, more stills & synopsis.

2008-11-01T06:20:00.000-07:00

Three weeks into production for ONLY HUMAN and I would like to pass along some more stills, and give you the pseudo-synopsis for the film...

'ONLY HUMAN' is a Crime Thriller/Drama being produced by Bug-Eyed Monster Productions in association with Fearful Symmetry Films. It is an independent movie being filmed on the Red One Digital Camera. The movie is an underworld revenge plot as seen through the eyes of the bit players of said plot.

The synopsis was taken from the Facebook group, which can be viewed (or joined) @ http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=32062003239 . More stills and information available there, as well.

It should be noted that Scott Nickerson is almost a foot taller than me. Ass=kicked.

HOBO is Happening!

2008-10-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

Remember HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN? That little trailer-that-could back in the Winter of ‘06? Well after a little bit more than a year, the feature-length film is entering the pre-production stage of development, and is slated to go into production early in 2009.

The script (written by John Davies) has been completed and my ass has been lucky enough to have a sit down with the script!

All I’m going to say is holy-shit.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN is going to rock asses nation wide. HOBO isn’t a horror, but the script still packs the same unapologetic, disgusting punch that has had audiences screaming at TREEVENGE screenings.

Jason Eisener will be directing of course, with Rob Cotterill producing, and recently announced, Niv Fichman (PASSCHENDALE, BLINDESS) will also be producing.

Since I’m not at liberty to say anything at all (that added to the fact I don’t really know anything else), I’ll shut my ass up.

For now, check out a cool piece from FHM Austrailia online here: http://www.fhm.com.au/huzzah-for-hobo.htm .

Drawing by Steven Walters (ourobar.com)

ONLY HUMAN Production Stills

2008-10-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

About a week and a half into production for ONLY HUMAN and I have some stills for your viewing pleasure...

Shooting is scheduled to go until mid-December so more to come!

ONLY HUMAN, Upcoming Feature.

2008-10-06T17:47:00.000-07:00

Fun news! Tomorrow, I start shooting for a feature film titled ONLY HUMAN, with Fearful Symmetry Films (fsfilms.ca). The film, written & directed by David Swan will be shooting from early October to early December.

No word on a release date.

I'll post an official synopsis & or production stills when they're available.

For now, just know my character's name is Francis, and I'm a man. More to come!

PS. Hope you enjoy the new layout of the blog, goddammit!

Still From ROLLER TOWN!

2008-09-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

Check out a still frame from the upcoming short ROLLER TOWN by Andrew Bush/Picnicface...

Real mustache.

My Weekend With Picnicface

2008-09-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

Hello people of internets, it's been a pretty damned awesome couple of weeks for myself, what with TREEVENGE at the Atlantic Film Festival and winning best short film at the AMD Fantastic Online Fest, and last weekend I had the pleasure of working on ROLLER TOWN, the new short film from Picnicface (directed by Andrew Bush).

Picnicface, for those of you who didn't know is an almost guaranteed literal-LOL inducing sketch comedy group from Halifax. If you haven't seen their stuff, go to their website right now (http://www.picnicface.com).

Here is a collection of photos (supplied wonderfully by Samantha Marie & a girl named Megan whose last name I don't know) from last weekend's production... enjoy...

Scanner

2008-08-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hey there true believers, guess what, I have a brand new video for you to judge me by!

SCANNER was written & directed by the ever so wonderful Daniel Jardine, it featured myself, Kristin Slaney & Sher Clain.

John is off to visit his Girlfriend Maggie at her mothers cottage in the mountains. In an attempt to keep John around for some very important news, Maggie's mother Helen slips an old remedy into his drink. Pandemonium is what happens next.

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UViAPRvAZFk
Facebook: http://vupload.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=24679138710

And now, for no real reason, here's a photo of Daniel bowling... thanks Facebook!

TREEVENGE at the Atlantic Film Festival!

2008-08-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

For the first time in Halifax, mother effing TREEVENGE!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=24454727507&ref=mf

September 16th, get your ass to Oxford Theatre to catch Jason Eisener's TREEVENGE. Buy your tickets now, because this bastard's gonna sell out!

“What Went Wrong” with me!

2008-08-10T13:55:00.000-07:00

TWO great big bits of news for yourselves today!

(1) First up, I have released my first compilation-best of-greatest hits DVD titled “WHAT WENT WRONG”, a collection of my fondest short films I have had some involvement in.

Now you can enjoy Glen Matthews on your very own television. Fuck the internet!

The DVD includes seven shorts:
-MUGSHOTS (trailer)
-SEPARATE WAYS
-JOG OR DIE
-FIRE COMING OUT OF THE MONKEY’S HEAD
-DRUNKARD THEATRE: ONE GOOD HAND
-THE LANDLORD (attention-span.tv)
-DINNER ETIQUETTE CORRECTNESS

AND…

(2) Secondly, you can rent WHAT WENT WRONG from Halifax’s number-one (in terms of radness) video store, Video Difference FOR FUCKING FREE!

How rad is that?

Rent it, give it to your friends, give it to your family, everyone needs to see my pubes.

Streets is coming!

2008-08-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to announce that post-production on Jason Eisener’s first feature film, STREETS OF DOMINATION has finally begun.

Let’s recap: The Chambers are one of the toughest gangs in River City. They play it cool and rock hard, but that's all changed when their rival gang, The Squids, kidnap Dale Chambers, The youngest of the Chamber brothers. The leadership of the city is now up for grabs as the Chambers race to save their brother down Canon Alley, a highway long abandoned and rumoured to be the turf of the most ferocious and cannibalistic gangs out there, The Creeps.

Eisener has recently dropped off a box of 61 Mini-DV tapes for myself to import onto the computer; all while he’s “working” in Aruba. Bullshit.

The end (of the wait) is near.

TREEVENGE destroys Montreal!

2008-07-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, the world premiere for TREEVENGE took place at the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal.

*Logo by James White, Illustration by Krista Comeau

Jason Eisener (Writer/Director) and Rob Cotterill (Writer/Producer) were interviewed before the premiere by the website Oddity Cinema (http://www.odditycinema.com). The interview can be watched @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tru_Gksytq4

That night eight hundred patrons lost their collective shit when TREEVENGE screened.

Ryan Bruce Levey from Fangoria (the world's premiere genre magazine) had this to say about TREEVENGE...

"The highlight of the night was the pre-feature short TREEVENGE, a messy bit of Canuxploitation courtesy of the team who brought us HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, the amazing short film/trailer that was played at fests and included with the theatrical release of GRINDHOUSE. TREEVENGE is a gore filled look at the mass slaughter of innocent Christmas trees and the subsequent revolt against humanity. Watch out for a special musical tribute to a certain cannibal film classic! This one is a must see. According to TREEVENGE producer Rob Coterill, the HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN feature is in the works, which is great news for fans of this kick ass short. If you missed it, make sure to check it out on You Tube to see what the hype is about!"

Join the Facebook group for all of the info regarding TREEVENGE @
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=40232300048

Matthews out.

Inside the Mind of a Vagina

2008-07-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

Myself recording the dialogue for the vagina in DINNER ETIQUETTE CORRECTNESS...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyJr4arL50U

Dinner Etiquette Correctness

2008-06-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to present Dinner Etiquette Correctness to all of your sexy asses. Watch it and tell your stupid friends to watch it too. They'll do what you tell them to do!

Pick your poison...
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqaBGhxFNBY
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Glen-Matthews/20478300301#/video/video.php?v=17872533710
DailyMotion: http://www.dailymotion.com/glenjm/video/x5ycuc_dinner-etiquette-correctness_fun
Blip.tv: http://blip.tv/file/1033735/
FunnyOrDie: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/681617b574

Dinner Etiquette Correctness

Featuring
Glen Matthews, Evan Mosher & Scott Bailey

Crew
Writer, Director & Editor: Glen Matthews
Grip: Patrick Wardell
Grip: Matt Tanner

Special Thanks
Jason Eisener, Zan Rosborough, Jason Tizzard, Kristin Slaney & Colin MacDonald

Special Apologies
Mom & Dad

http://www.GlenJM.com

Bit of a Bully Productions 2008

New Short JUNE 29TH!

2008-06-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

I am tickled pink to inform you that filming for the short “Dinner Etiquette Correctness” is now complete, and post-production has begun.

The film, featuring myself, Scott Bailey & Evan Mosher was shot last Saturday with Ryan Creaser as Director of Photography and will be the first release from Bit of a Bully Productions since "Jog or Die" almost a damned year ago!

I am also tickled pink to offer up a few still frames from the film. I double-dog dare you to try and figure out what the movie is about by looking at these....

The film will be released Sunday, June 29th on Facebook ( http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=87943&id=20478300301&saved#/pages/Glen-Matthews/20478300301 ), Youtube ( http://www.youtube.com/user/glenjmatthews ), Blip.tv ( http://glenjm.blip.tv/ ) and Dailymotion ( http://www.dailymotion.com/glenjm/ ) for your viewing pleasure.

Stupid Foreigner 2 Canceled

2008-06-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

It is my unfortunate duty as writer, director, producer, editor and star of "Stupid Foreigner Volume 2: NYC" to inform you that the film has been canceled.

In the days leading up to our departure, I realized a few things, (1) we wouldn’t be able to accomplish much of what I had wanted for the film with only 14 hours in the city, (2) Kristin had limited camera-operating experience and (3) I wanted to experience New York City, rather than worry about making a video.

Call me a greedy bastard, but I didn’t want my visit to New York to be ruined by worrying about getting shots. If anyone is genuinely upset by this news, I will offer up one back-rub in compensation for your emotional loss.

In other news (which I hope will bring along emotional gain) on June 14th, I will be shooting another short film under the “Bit of a Bully Productions” moniker.

The film titled “Dinner Etiquette Correctness” will feature myself, Scott Bailey, Evan Mosher & Ryan Creaser (as the magnificent Director of Photography) and should be on the net late June/early July. “Dinner Etiquette Correctness” will be the first of at least four short films I hope to release by the end of the summer.

Early July I will be shooting a short film to be directed by John Davies with some rad-ass special effects from Henry Townsend. I smell magic.

"Treevenge" news; Jason Eisener's short has been accepted to two huge film festivals: Fantasia Film Fest in Montreal in July (http://www.fantasiafest.com/pre2008/) & Fantasic Fest in Austin Texas (http://www.fantasticfest.com/).

Bounce.

Iron Man, Revenge of the Nerds & My Top 5 Anticipated Summer Films

2008-05-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

Two blog updates in one day. Shit!

My afternoon today was spent watching the classic film Revenge of the Nerds, which I can now whole-heartedly endorse. A man named Ogre screaming "Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!" is reason enough for me to give it the thumbs-up.
I felt that my viewing of Revenge of the Nerds was a back-to-the-drawing-board experience after the viewing of my first summer blockbuster this year, Iron Man. A couple nights ago, I experienced John Favreau's Iron Man, the first big blockbuster film of the 2008 season. As a regular visitor to RottenTomatoes.com, I had taken notice that with 93%, Iron Man was the best reviewed movie of the year thus far.

I sat in my seat and experienced 2 hours of...good? It was good. But 93% good? I'm a very spiteful bastard, so I wasn't convinced. The film seemed to have a very healthy diet of comedic moments that all worked very well, an effective (yet drawn-out) origin story, some great performances (Downey Jr. of course) but the final act seemed thrown together with archaic simplicity.

Curse Favreau for not letting Jeff Bridges sip on a White Russian. C'mon man. Fuck it, dude let's go bowling.

Oh, and what the shit was Terrence Howard doing there for three minutes of screen time? He was in fucking Hustle & Flow!

It felt all sorts of wrong, but it was still pleasing. Perhaps I should just shut up.

I can't blame a critic for recommending this film, but I myself would recommend holding onto your cash for another blockbuster. Indiana Jones perhaps, which will probably be just as hollow but the nostalgia alone will make it worthwhile.

Today, it was back to the basics: Revenge of the Nerds. Say what you will about the quality of the film, I needed something casual with a little bit of flare; which is what Iron Man was, except wrapped up in a giant box with big bows and pretty paper on it.

And now for something completely different:

MY TOP 5 ANTICIPATED SUMMER FILMS!shit.

#5: The Happening
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

I watched the trailer, and goddammit! I swore I was done with M. Night, but this movie looks effing great. I am ready to spend time with this movie, but I won't be surprised to walk out of the theatre wanting my time back. Coming out June 13th, happy birthday to me!

#4: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Directed by Guillermo Del Toro

Guillermo Del Toro? Yes please. Ron Perlman? But of course. That plus add the fact that Del Toro said that if Hellboy 2 does enough business, the third Hellboy will see him defending the earth against 21st century Nazis. YES.

#3: Hamlet 2

Directed by Andrew Fleming (?)

The poster is pretty shitty, but watch the effing trailer anyways. If you liked Waiting For Guffman, this should fuel your hate thespians that much further. Rock me, rock me sexy Jesus. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACSlH9PSo7g

#2: Pineapple Express

Directed by David Gordon Green

I've enjoyed the majority of the past Apatow Productions films, but this one seems to be friggin' amazing. Superbad meets Fargo.

#1: The Dark Knight

Directed by Christopher Nolan

FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE!

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Brazilian Winter

2008-05-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

Exactly one week into my vacation in Brazil and I am finally experiencing my first day of nothing. I just spent an hour cleaning my keyboard with a toothpick and a q-tip. Here is an excerpt:

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444333344444444444443344333333333333333333333333333333333333333333322211111
11111111111111111111111111122222 nnnmnnmnnnm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 444444444444444444444cccccccccccvvcvccbbbbbxxxxcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
ccccccccccccccccccxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcccccc ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbcvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxccxcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,

Kristin is fully occupied nursing a hangover that she acquired drinking caipirinhas, a fruity drink (fruity in taste, not sexual preference).

I call this piece Kristin vs. Caipirinhas...

Thus far, every day has been pleasantly jam-packed with tourist duties assigned by my Father with his carefully crafted itinterary.

Yesterday, we took a pair of cable-cars to the top of Sugarloaf mountain where you can enjoy a mind-blowing view of Rio de Janeiro.

While we were atop Sugarloaf, I borrowed my Father’s tricked-out Panasonic still camera, which I discovered takes some pretty awesome photos.

Here is my first endeavour into wildlife photography (click for larger pictures)…

Right now it's Winter in Brazil, which doesn't neccessarily matter because it's still 25 degrees outside. Everyone walks around with sweaters and looks at us like we're retarded as we walk to the beach. The only downside is that it gets dark around 5:30pm, and the streets of Rio after dark are nowhere for a gringo to be.

That's about all for now, I've been sitting at the computer for about 2 hours now, and I am in need of some fresh air. Expect a video podcast from myself later on this week.

For now, check out the new trailer for Parker Porkham Supernatural Detective (directed by Sam Fisher) below...

Tchau gringos.

GlenJM vs. NYC

2008-05-08T06:58:00.001-07:00

Oi everyone, Glen Matthews reporting from Brasil. I’m laying in a bed in the mountains of Petropolis, Rio De Janeiro and letting my brain melt. I thought I would catch you up on the progress of my vacation: things are good.

But let’s take a step back, shall we?

On our way down to Brasil, we (myself and my lady-slave Kristin) had a 14 hour stop-over in New York City at JFK airport.

Allow me to take you on a photographular-spectacle-tour-of-NYC-of-photo-proportions!

May 5th
5:30am
Surviving on 3 hours of sleep, Kristin crashes at Halifax International Airport before the voyage begins and her “power-nap” quickly becomes an out-cold invitation for molestation.

7:30am
We entered JFK, and passed by customs with not so much as a finger up either of our butts. Good start!

Shortly after, Kristin grabbed some coffee to make herself mildly tolerable, and a portly Cuban man convinced us that his shuttle service (titled Super Shuttle) was the way to go. We hopped in and were on our way to Times Square.

10:00am
Upon arrival, it is discovered that New York City hates epileptics…

10:30am
Me being disgusted by a man dressed in a duck-suit…

Being my first time in NYC, I handed the navigational duties over to Kristin who claimed to “know the city”.

She determined we would bypass Al Roker and his Good Morning America friends and head straight for Central Park.

11:00am
Here is an excerpt of some dialogue between two New York City citizens that we observed…

Biker: On your right!

The Biker passes on his left.

Man: Wrong side, mother fucka!

...Glorious.

“You’re gonna make some sort of sexual joke about that picture, aren’t you?” –Kristin Slaney referring to the bag of honey roasted nuts, with the tag-line “Nuts 4 Nuts” on it… What a slut.

Apparently, Central Park is the world’s largest man-made park; but with Harlem on the other end of it, who bothered to find out? Badum-pish!

Racism?

Back to civilization…

And by civilization, I mean the giant 3-storey Disney Store. Magical!

Kristin getting molested again…

Me giving consent…

Oh Cruella…

1:00pm
All this magic and wonder lead to the buildup of some mean hunger pains. It was onto the Café Edison (AKA The Polish Tea Room).

This was where most of Avenue Q & Neil Simon’s 45 Seconds From Broadway were written. I don’t know either of these shows, but there seemed to be some pretty good mojo working for the place, so I decided to haul out my notepad and continue writing my top-secret epic feature film.

Top-secret.

2:00pm
Kristin decides it’s onto Chinatown where she promises I will have many opportunities to haggle with Chinamen (her terminology, not mine).

Here she is using her know-how, to figure out the subway route to Chinatown…

Unfortunately, one hour later I discover that she is full of shit when we are lost in (you guessed it) the mother-fuckin’ Bronx. For whatever reason, rather than getting off of the subway and switching tracks, she thought that staying on would get us to Chinatown eventually.

It didn’t. We ended up deep in the Bronx. The mother-fucking Bronx, man.

There are no photos from this 2-hour endeavor because I was busy playing the role of “Scared Whitey #1”.

After some friendly directions from a friendly man named Robbie, we were well on our way to [hopefully] friendly Chinatown…

4:00pm
None of the people appearing in the following photograph granted me permission to use their photograph. They were total assholes about it.

It’s sort of like the Bridgewater Exhibition, but instead of drunks, you have people who likely-are-concealing-weapons; and instead of cotton candy, there’s Chinamen (and women).

Here we are celebrating our haul: cheap sunglasses!

6:00pm
The sun began to set behind the buildings surrounding us, and our flight was scheduled to depart in a few hours, so we caught a subway back to JFK to get some soup and chill.

...NYC whooped my ass.

Tour of Brasil of-photo-proportions coming soon!

GlenJM Design!

2008-04-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

As the current Emperor of the GlenJMpire, I have the arduous duty of being a multi-talented artiste. One of my many talents is graphic design.

Let’s take a blog entry to look back at my short history as a graphic designer. Most recently, I was assigned to graphically design a poster for the upcoming production of Lilly, Alta. at Neptune Theatre...

Earlier in the year, Neptune Theatre also had me create the poster for Little Women...

I created a businass card for my acting endeavours...

...what a pederass.

In the Summer, I created a poster for the show I was taking part in for the Atlantic Fringe Festival, Tough!...

Here is the un-used cover art that I proposed for The Top Dog, a short film by Evan Elliot that was featured in the 2008 Atlantic Film Festival...

About a year ago, Neptune Theatre allowed me to create the poster for the Pre-Professional Training Program’s show, Blood Wedding (which I was in)...

Two years ago, I did a poster for another show I was in called Jump! An 80’s Musical.

A poster I did for a BBQ/Skate jamboree hosted by Homegrown Skateboards...

Here’s the poster & the VHS sleeve for my baby: Mugshots...

And here’s the poster for Park View Education Centre Men’s Hockey, which was never used because the printing costs for it were too high.

And the last stop on this tour through time; my earliest documented poster was for Ultimate Wrestling Championship’s 13th Pay-Per-View: 666 (which I also took part in)...

That’s all for now, more to come I hope! New York City is up next week!

Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter 6.

2008-04-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

CHAPTER SIX:
“Quitter”
Spring 2003

A couple months past the Mugshots release and I was still exhausted from the whole ordeal.

I wrote a script for a feature-length film to be shot that summer titled Repo Men (starring myself, Scott Bailey and Evan Mosher) about a rogue group of repossession men who were experiencing hard times.

The summer months came and we started shooting our epic comedy; days were long and took much more orchestrating than when we shot Mugshots, which required (1.) showing up & (2.) a video camera. Still without a car (or a driver’s license), “showing up” became the film’s nemesis.

There was one day when I had to bike an hour to the shooting-location carrying an army kit bag full of props, the camera bag, and a tripod. And then everyone else showed up an hour late.

The strain was too much, and after filming approximately 25% of the film, I called it quits. Getting to and returning from the locations was just too much of a headache.

Here's the only released material from Repo Men. A behind-the-scenes photo. We convinced Dave F'n Maddox (our dear friend and grip for the day) to let us shoot him in the junk with our high powered Super Soaker.

The Super Soaker was used as a prop for the main character, Ben (played by Scott Bailey) as he had a difficult time managing his morning boner and ends up running through, and pissing all over his house. High-class comedy.

It really hurt to just let the movie die, but I really didn’t think that we could pull it off without me turning into a torrential typhoon of bitchy grumpyness and punching someone.

Months went by, and no new films were being produced. Seg-Way Productions was on an unofficial hiatus.

In school, I took Film & Video where we produced a few videos (80’s COP SHOW, RESIDUE EVIL, LIFE IN PVEC, IRON CONQUEST, FEED MY FRANKENSTEIN) but the motivation didn’t come back to us to make our own films on our own time. Lazy bastards.

FEED MY FRANKENSTEIN...

High school ended. My camera broke. I got a girlfriend.

I decided filmmaking wasn’t for me; it was time for me to buckle down and get in shape to follow my dreams and become a pro-wrestler (see: chapter 1). Next WInter, I would attend The Kardinal Sinners Pro-Wrestling Camp (in Moncton) taught by Hercules AKA Kingman AKA Brody Steele AKA Peter Smith.

Most of my friends moved away in the pursuit of knowledge, leaving me with my girlfriend, and a job at Bluenotes. Fuck. It was the longest Winter of my goddamned life.

The time came, and I went to Moncton, leaving my girlfriend and my shitty job behind me in Bridgewater. I stayed for 4 days of training before I hurt my back, got really homesick, depressed, and decided to head on back home.

I quit.

It was one thing to quit a movie that no one was expecting to get made, but quitting pro-wrestling really sucked. I was so sure for all of my life that this was what I wanted to do; to tour the globe as a high-flyin’ babyface named JJ Loveless… and now I had no fucking idea.

Back to Bridgewater.

I applied [and was accepted] to Nova Scotia Community College for Applied Arts (Graphic Design & Photography) in Halifax where I could at least keep myself entertained during the Winter months.

Could be okay.

I am Not a Skinhead.

2008-03-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hey there, how are you doing? Keepin' it sexual? Good.

Last night, during my bi-weekly hair trimming that I do all by myself (like a big boy) I accidentally switched up my 8mm guard (which I use for my hair) and no guard at all (which I use for beard trimming).

The end result (take a deep breath) is as follows....

Not to be confused with...
I still like blacks, jews, asians and mexicans. Every last one of them.

Moving on.

What's new?

Myself and my girlfriend Kristin Slaney (I know, we're still together, I didn't think it would last either), and Sher Clain (another Neptune Theatre Pre-Professional Training Program '07 graduate) have been having rehearsals for the film Scanner, written and directed by Daniel Jardine. We'll be shooting mid-April.

Scanner will be my 4th time working with Dan Jardine on a film, what can I say, the man has an irresistable smile.

Scanner will be Kristin's 5th time portraying a pregnant woman. What the fuck?

Mr. Jardine doing sound on some other film that doesn't matter.

One last note before I leave you longing for more; tomorrow night (Wed. 26th @ 8:00pm) is Night of the Killer Reel II hosted by Scott Thorne, at Ginger's Tavern (1662 Barrington St.) is a night of short horror films. The teaser for Parker Porkham by Sam Fisher will be featured in the lineup.

That's all for now, keep it fresh.

Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter Five.

2008-03-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

CHAPTER FIVE:
“VHS FTW”
November 2001

Into my second year of high school and boredom was deeply settling in. This was the first time in over 5 years that I had absolutely no creative outlet. Help Wanted TV had just ended (as with all ties with Garden Hoe Productions), and so did Ultimate Wrestling Championship. What’s a teenaged boy to do?

I drank.

We all drank.

A lot.

To waste the time, and to try and get the opportunity to touch a female. One particularly foggy evening in November in Lunenburg, myself and Scott Bailey were drinking on a hill in front of Composites Atlantic (a Lunenburg trademark) before a “gig” (that’s cool-teenager-lingo for “rock concert”) when Scott pitched me the idea of a movie titled Mugshots.

He wanted to keep making the type of films we were making with Mike Nauss (and Garden Hoe Productions), but this time it would be on our own terms.

He proposed that since we knew fuck-all about HTML and internet-ing that we would just buy a camera, shoot a buttload of footage, and get it out to everyone in one glorious hour-long jam-packed VHS film.

I asked him what the title “Mugshots” meant. He said it was a double-entendre, that it could mean doing shots of booze with mugs, but it could also mean an actual mugshot (as if we were arrested). And I still think it’s a stupid fucking title.

Dumb title or not. I was drunk and I was psyched.

Soon thereafter, we entered the Pre-Production stages for Mugshots and after a few months, I purchased my first video camera, a Sony CCD-TRV108 Hi-8 CamCorder, and a whole bunch of tapes.

Summer came and we started shooting.
Half of us had our driver's licenses and none of us had a job, so we had a whole lot of spare time to kick around and film whatever. And boy, did we film a whole lot of "whatever".

This summer went on to be one of the randomest (not a word, I know), funnest summers I have ever had.

This was the first summer that we had, where we knew that the law couldn't touch us. Being under the age of 19, especially in a small town like Lunenburg, meant that the long arm of the law, was rather forgivable towards us, and our demographic.

Sporadic , is one way to describe that summer. Non-stop, random, and efficient all at once. It was a weird mixture of careless production.

The end of the summer was closing in, and we knew that we had some great footage on tape; but another thing we knew, was that we didn't have that "big" stunt. Scott called me one night and put forth the idea that he wanted to jump from the second floor of the Atlantic Super Store onto a check-out.

After some discussion, we planned out "the skit", and headed to the Super Store where Scott jumped from the second floor onto a check-out. Managers, cashiers, and other Super Store staff chased all around Bridgewater for about 3 hours in one of the greatest memories I will ever experience. I rendezvoused with Scott on the riverbed of the Lahave River then headed back to my Dad's where we played video games for a few hours until everything die down.

Principal photography on Mugshots was complete.Come November, I started telling people that Mugshots was coming late in November. Like an idiot, I left myself about 3 weeks to import, and edit an hour-long film. During these 3 weeks, I had school and exams, which are pretty stressful to begin with.

The editing was unbelievably frustrating on a PC that was already 3 years behind it's time.

I switched the release date to December 19th to allow myself to put the finishing touches on my baby.

Come the 19th, I had finished editing, and recording more than 50 copies of Mugshots, ready to be distributed.
Within the next year I had produced more than 150 copies of Mugshots (from San Fransisco to France) and everyone sincerely loved the film.

Everyone seemed to overlook some of the pacing issues I had with it (thanks to my time constraints), and really enjoyed the finished product.

Through the years, I have continually heard of people putting Mugshots on at parties, which has consistently brought a smile to my face.

Scott Bailey & Evan Mosher model to Mugshots tee-shirt

Looking back now, Mugshots was our send-off to our innocent/devious teenage years. We knew the end of our immunity was forthcoming, I'm just glad we managed get some of it on film before it was uncerimoniously snatched away on our separate 19th birthdays.

Thanks to absolutely everyone involved in Mugshots. It was one of the most triumphant projects ever undertaken in my life. Thank you to everyone, everyone involved and everyone who watched it.

Treevenge Cock-Tease!

2008-03-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

Above is the teaser-poster for the upcoming short film written & directed by Jason Eisener, produced by Rob Cotterill (Yer Dead Inc.) that I will be featured in.

COMING SOON.

Stupid Foreigner Volume 2: NYC

2008-03-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Coming in June!

Filming May 5th. I have 14 hours at JFK Airport so I'm gonna be a tourist for the day. Shit's on.

Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter Four.

2008-02-24T11:18:00.000-08:00

CHAPTER FOUR:
“Two Chapters With One Stone”
August 2001

I spent the Summer of 2001 begging my dearest Mother and Father to drive me to Mike Nauss’ house. A huge portion of those months were geared towards filming a new project for Brew Crew Productions, titled Help Wanted TV, a show that we made as a tribute to the Jackass/Tom Green craze that we all worshipped.

We would stroll into town with some random, vague idea of a skit, and film it, and see what reactions we would get from the general public. At 15 years old, there wasn’t much of a better way to spend my Summer vacation.

After a couple months, we were in our first year of high school at Park View Education Centre, and we had a good bundle of footage for the first episode of Help Wanted TV. Then news came in; there was going to be a film festival for the students of PVEC in late October. Episode 1 of Help Wanted TV was going to premiere in front of a live audience.

Kickarse!

In an attempt to promote our involvement in the festival, we brought the camera to school, and filmed a skit there. It was a rainy day when we went to the hill behind the school and started sliding down the hill at very high speeds, resulting in guaranteed pain. A crowd gathered to watch us throw ourselves down the hill, and laugh at our idiocies. The cherry on top, was when Scott Bailey decided to take his shirt off, and then run and slide bare-chested down the hill. The crowd laughed and gasped at the “V” on Scott’s chest, where his flesh was formerly located.

Tough as nails.

We had business cards that we gave out, and a decent sizeable fan-base that we took in (much bigger than any previous Brew Crew related work). Therefore, Scott and Mike renamed Brew Crew Productions, to Garden Hoe Productions.

A couple of weeks of editing on Mike’s part, then it was time to show-off episode 1 of Help Wanted TV at the festival!

People lost their shit that night laughing at Help Wanted TV, which felt really good. Surrounded by family, friends, and a whole bunch of people who never seen us before, we were on top of our own little world. Naturally, we went outside and jumped into bushes to celebrate.

After that, it was back to the grind-stone, filming and producing new episodes in all of our spare time. In Lunenburg County, word travels quickly, therefore, we were soon featured on a program on Eastlink Television, a channel that is broadcasted across Nova Scotia… the big time.

We were also interviewed for the Lunenburg newspaper, the Progress Enterprise. Check it out…

‘Help Wanted!’ may be a hit, but it’s not for everyone
Including the parents of most of its creators
January 2nd, 2002

Susan Corkum-Greek
scorkumgreek@lighthouse.ns.ca

LUNENBURG – Their wacky video website has developed quite a following, not just in Nova Scotia but as far away as Tampa Bay, Florida.
Still, the six young men behind internet-based Help Wanted! TV admit it’s not for everyone, nor usually their parents.
The site, which features shock-value stunts a la The Tom Green Show or the MTV segment known as Jackass, went online this past September and now gets up to 45 hits a day.
“That’s up from even a few weeks ago,” says the show’s technical mastermind, Mike Nauss.
Better still, fans are now asking for VHS copies of the show’s first episode, meaning the group could actually make money on the deal.
Mike explains the website-based show basically came about following two separate, though failed, attempts at similar shows in the past. The first being the original Help Wanted! TV, which lasted less than a day.
“It was basically a bunch of us sitting around watching Tom Green and deciding that we should make a show showing all the crazy things we do,” says one of the show’s most outrageous participants, Scott Bailey.
Armed with a video camcorder, he and his then Grade 7 classmates Taylor Daurie and Evan Mosher set out on a door-to-door quest during which they asked area residents for their personal views on a number of sexual fetishes.
At least one man did not find it funny. He telephoned Evan’s mother and she destroyed the tape.
Then two years ago, another group, this one headed by Mike, decided to create a television show using a webcam. At the time, Mike was already operating the most successful Tom Green fan site on the internet, getting in excess of 1,000 visits a day.
“That kind of weird, wacky humour just appealed to me. I never saw anything like it before,” he says. “So we decided it would be fun to make a show of the stuff we did.”
When technology failed them, the group settled for an internet radio show, known as The Brew Crew. The show has was the guys describe as moderate success, particularly once it picked up a couple of new members, namely Scott and friend Glen Matthews. It lasted until the next spring when infighting among group members caused it to fold.
A few months passed before Scott and Mike were at it again, devising an all-new Help Wanted! Site. It debuted in September with its current cast, including its aforementioned creators, original Help Wanted! Alumni Taylor and Evan, Glen and now Liam Frier.
Their first segment, filmed at Park View Education Centre where all six attend school, attracted instant attention, although it was the release of their first full episode at a school film festival in October that really gave the show a following. Before long, Mike’s computer server was incapable of handling the traffic. It’s since been upgraded.
The guys say the show involves “two-basic types of comedy” – pain and reaction.
The pain bits result from some semi-sadistic stunts the troupe has undertaken. These include everything from daring skateboard moves, that inevitably end in injury, to body surfing down a hill bare-chested. Scott claims he still has scars from the latter stunt, while Mike says one segment left him with a stiff neck for four days.
But what’s so funny about that?, we ask.
“I don’t know,” says Glen, “If I saw someone fall down and slam his face, it wouldn’t be funny. But if I saw Scott do it, it would.”
“People seem to like it,” adds Scott.
The show’s second tack is capturing the public’s reactions to their craziness. For instance, when a member recently ran across a street in Lunenburg with only a teddy bear to cover himself. That said, the group claims there are limitations on what they will do.
“Oh yeah, there are tons of segments that we talk about, then say we won’t do because we’d be arrested,” says Glen, who points to Mike as their collective conscience. Still, there are some things group members agree they will not tolerate, among them, any sort of vandalism.
When it comes to the rules surrounding good taste, however, the guys say they neither know, nor care for them. As a result, they’ve likely made as many enemies as fans. At Park View alone they say there are teachers who “really encourage” them, while others think what they do is immature and tasteless. The fact a certain sector of students enjoy Help Wanted!’s oddball humour adds to the latter group’s ire.
However members such as Scott, whose antics recently led one person to tell him he was “cracked,” say they don’t really care what people say about them. “Any attention is good attention,” he reasons. “And we’ve actually been pretty lucky to have had more good than bad.”
“All in all, it’s gone over a lot better than we ever thought,” adds Evan.
But what about their parents’ reactions? After all, it was Evan’s mom who destroyed the original Help Wanted! Tape. Most say it’s an area they just don’t discuss.
“I’d be scared to,” says Mike, to nods from most of his cohorts. The lone exception is Scott.
“My parents are different,” he says. They not only watch and support Help Wanted!, they often appear in segments, just like the parents of Ottawa-born Tom Green.
The site, which is preceded by a warning, can be viewed at http://helpwantedtv.cjb.net

Help Wanted TV went on to produce 4 episodes over the period of a few months, and then coming to an abrupt end when there were some creative differences (I hate that term, but that’s really what it was).

Along with just about everything else in my past, I am severely embarrassed by some of the things I did in Help Wanted TV (pooping on my bathroom floor, for one), but I’m still really proud of it. It was the first taste of success, and giving people something that they wanted, that I had ever had.

It needs to be said that without Mike Nauss, Help Wanted TV would have never happened. Not a chance in hell. And without me having some form of involvement in Help Wanted or Brew Crew Productions, I might have never developed a taste for filmmaking and performing, therefore, thanks Mike.

That coming Summer saw the end of another chapter of my life, UWC. After three years, we went out with a bang, we had our first event with a crowd. Thirteen of our friends and a couple aunts and uncles came out to see UWC PPV “666”.

We were rapidly raising the bar in terms of our stunts and our “extreme antics”. It seemed our slogan of “Hardcore to the breaking bone” might soon come true. We were using thumbtacks, chairs, fire, cheese graders; it was getting dangerous.

At this point, my destiny in life was to become a professional wrestler, so I started weighing my options. I was busting up my body pretty bad, with no training whatsoever and it was getting more risky. I talked to Scott and we decided to end UWC after 14 glorious PPVs.

I now had no creative outlets whatsoever. Shit.

(Note: All footage and photos of Help Wanted TV are the property of Garden Hoe Productions and Mike Nauss who has them all backed up, and in storage. It’s sort of like the Disney Vault. Beg Mike to release the series online again for the masses to rejoice.)

Treevenge Storyboards

2008-01-28T14:03:00.000-08:00

Here's the storyboards for the scene in Treevenge that Kristin Slaney & myself participated in. Do enjoy...

Treevenge Behind the Scenes, foolz!!

2008-01-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody, I'm here to bring you two things: (1) some behind the scenes goodness from the set of Jason Eisener's Treevenge, and (2) some love in blog-format.

On Saturday morning, Kristin (my significant other) and myself had the pleasure of waking up at 5:30am to catch a cab over to the set of Treevenge in Dartmouth.

Here's an excerpt from Eisener's MySpace page, giving you an idea of just what Treevenge is...

"New short project 'Treevenge'

So right now were waiting for things to go underway for Hobo With a Shotgun the feature film, so to do something with our time we decided to make a short film about the life of a Christmas Tree, this is our follow up to our hobo trailer. We have three more shooting days left and things have been going great.
Again this thing is done totally out of our own pocket which is now empty haha and with the help of alot friends."

Before shooting, make-up lady extraordinaire Cadence Macmichael did her best to make me presentable before I got torn to shreds...

Soon thereafter, Jason showed us a thrown-together scene from Treevenge...

Jason showing Henry Townsend, Kristin and myself the scene.

Here is a blurred photo of the work-in-progress. "But why is it blurred, Glen?", because I'm a goddamned cock-tease, that's why...

See all that green? That's trees. See all that red? That's human remnants. Fuck yes.

The scene we were shown was effing phenomenal!!! (<-- 3 effing exclamation marks!!!) And it was only "thrown together" in a couple hours. There was one shot that has been etched into my mind forever, it's truly haunting. If that scene is an indication of things to come, Treevenge will be far too much fun. People will lose their shit.

It was time to go down stairs and get to work...

Lindsay Thorne, Scott Thorne & Henry prep my head to be TREEVENGED!

"Not cool, dudes."

The man-behind-the-branch Mr. Jason Johnson. Jason created the Street Samurai costume seen in Hobo With a Shotgun. He created the tree costume for the hero in Treevenge. Awesome stuff...

Here's a photo of Kristin and myself standing behind Zan Rosborough, the genius of everything sound. For some reason, I look like a fatty...

Poor, poor bitch...

Director/Writer Jason Eisener and Producer/Writer Rob Cotterill watch the action...

Glen Matthews, post-Treevenge...

The aftermath...

Wayne Forrest ( WForrest Photography ) was on the set the day of shooting and took some kickarse production stills. Here's a handfull of them...

Awesome stuff.

Man, I have way too many endearing photos of Kristin in this blog update...

...there we go.

That's all for now, I'll keep you all posted on the progress of Treevenge. I think they had their final day of shooting yesterday, so I do believe it's in the post-production stage.

Peace-up. A-Town.

Young Company Tour '07 = MASTERED!!

2008-01-22T06:44:00.000-08:00

15 weeks and 16,000 kilometers later...

Stick a fork in it, the tour is done.

Although it has only been about three days since the tour has finished, I think I can safely say that I enjoyed myself; thanks [in most part] to the people in the company, Adam Bayne, Gillian Ferrier, Darcy Lindzon & Kim Parkhill (it's in alphabetical order Kim, don't worry).

When I was preparing to audition for the Young Company back in July, I had asked myself if I wanted to spend 4 months with a group of enthusiastic thespians. It seemed to be in my experience, that when thespians get into groups of 3 or more, drama ensues. And I can't handle drama.

I weighed the pros and the cons. The pros were a kickarse job, performing for kids, being paid to act & travel, and it would get me out of working at Empire Theatres for a few months. The cons... drama.

The answer was a very hesitant 'yes'.

Here's a map with some of the spots we visited.

Looking back, the gamble paid off. There was some drama, but if you put 5 people in a van for 4 months, there's bound to be a couple of pissy moments. Overall, it was a very positive experience for me; definitely a complete chapter of my life.

The tour afforded me the chance to see every fucking nook and cranny of the Maritimes at light speed. Believe it or not, 4 months is not enough time to do a school tour and be a tourist. Sadly, I wasn't being paid to be a tourist.

Someday, I will return to the highlands of Cape Breton and take my own sweet time. That's a promise, right there.

Artistically, I think I have grown... I think. I'm still in shock from 4 months of 2 shows; I need a bit of time to just sit back and absorb what I have learned.

Approximately we did 80 shows of A Bump In The Night, and 40 Liars. Approximately 9 shows a week. Lordy.

I was exhausted in early December, but the kids kept me going (that sounds so cheesy). Performing for kids is like nothing else; a crowd of kids is like a mixture of a rock-concert, a pro-wrestling show, and a strip club. It's that weird fucked up mix that I loved.

I wish adults would go that apeshit for anything.

Next week, I'm moving into a new apartment with my ladyfriend Kristin and going back to work at Empire Theatres. I am oddly excited to go back to my "regular life". It should be nice to sit down and breathe.

Some fan-mail: A drawing of myself as Eric from an Elementary student.

A huge thanks goes out to the kids, Adam "Banye West" Bayne, Gillian "Ferry-er" Ferrier, Darcy "Darce-Hole" Lindzon, Kimberly "Kimbo Slice" Parkhill, and our director Samantha "Sambo" Wilson.

Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter Three.

2008-01-17T19:22:00.001-08:00

CHAPTER THREE:
“Honk if you happen to be horny.”
April 1999 to August 2000

Welcome to the year 1999. I am nearing the end of this year of Junior High School. My grades are good. The weather’s fine. The girls are friendly; a couple of them even talk to me (albeit briefly).

As soon as Spring came, the weather was absolutely beautiful, which got me amped to get out to Scott’s backyard and film some backyard wrestling goodness.

Hardcore Heaven
-the McLeod Bomber def. Pec Parka
-the Bloodfeasters def. Happy Guy and Rico Suave
-Pete the Punk def. Peter Bruin
-Fishin' Frank def. a fan
-the Bum def. Bum#1 & Bum#2
-Matthew Tanner def. the Deckhand
-Ray Mosher def. Brocus
-Wolfgang Stone def. Disco Stu

The next day, we went to Evan Mosher’s house and decided to start our own show called Help Wanted. We had no idea what it would be, but we wrote the title on a piece of cardboard and held it up in front of the camera, therefore, cementing it’s place in history. The first thing we did was get another piece of cardboard and write “HONK IF YOU’RE HORNY!!!”, and go down onto Evan’s front lawn, hold the sign up, and wait for traffic. To our 13-year-old amusement, nearly everyone traveling that road was “in the mood” to honk some horns. Wink. Wink.

After that, myself, Evan, Scott Bailey and Taylor Daurie walked door-to-door interviewing everyone about their sexual fetishes and how they feel about beastiality and “plantality”. Again, appealing to our 13-year-old amusements. Comic genius.

An angry/offended/appauled member of Evan’s neighborhood called Evan’s Mom and before we could sit down to watch our comic-gold, she destroyed our beloved tape. She threw it into the fire, it was very dramatic.

Note: Evan’s mother is a lovely woman.

Moving on.

It was terribly depressing, we spent an entire day working non-stop only to have it tossed to the flames. We knew our place, it was in Feltzen South; in Scott’s backyard. Where we were free to do what we damn-well pleased. Rebel yell.

More effort was put into the UWC pay-per-views. We kicked out the jams producing 4 PPV’s that Summer, each more extreme and hardcore than the previous. No longer were we using boxes as weapons, now we had cookie sheets, wooden shingles, metal chairs, and chicken wire.

Myself breaking a shingle over Scott Bailey's head in one of UWC's exclusive "Shingle Matches"

Mike Nauss (who created Brew Crew Radio) came out to lend a technical helping hand, and allow us to have microphones, multiple camera angles, and he also helped me edit video montages of the PPV’s.

Mr. Mike Nauss pictured with myself at UWC's tech-booth.

September came along, and we were doing more videotaped shorts with Mike. I filmed a couple shorts titled “Making Friends With Glen” where I walked around Lunenburg and acted like an idiot to people I didn’t know; most famously, one Japanese tourist on the docks who just wanted to enjoy his ice cream cone...

He hated me. Me and my 14-year-old amusements.

Brew Crew Productions was slowly collecting a series of videos through the early part of the year. We were gathering a following. An actual following, (more so than UWC’s five apathetic fans, at least) and in this following were girls, a few of them.

Throughout the year, we picked away at different shorts. Eventually filming our biggest film yet, a 30 minute horror/comedy “Norman Goes to School”, directed & edited by Mike.

Norman (an established character in the Brew Crew universe played by Scott) goes to school for the first time in his life, but he is not welcomed as he would have hoped, the students make fun of his deformed, warped body, and short legs. So he decides to go all axe-murderer on the school…

It was fucked.

I played Norman’s mother, and had my first sex scene of my young acting career. That.. was also fucked.

This was my first experience seeing a film being produced from start to finish. It was incredibly rewarding. I didn’t even produce the film. But people loved it, they lost their minds watching it, also we were given time off of class to watch it. Even if the movie would have sucked, people would have loved us for getting them out of class.

Jump ahead one year. One year, to the year: 2000…

More backyard wrestling. More short films.

Advertisement for UWC PPV#10 Sadistic Satisfaction

We produced a 4-episode parody show titled Brew Crew Survivor, where we each created a character and participated in contests to be the last one standing in the trailer park.

I wrote a script to a feature film, “Jackie Wang and the Hunt for the Egg Roll King” where our hero, Jackie Wang, has his egg rolls stolen and hunts them down. Sadly, the film was never shot because there was some creative differences (big words for a 14 year old, I know), which lead to the disbanding of Brew Crew Productions as it was.

That summer, myself, Mike, Scott, Evan, Taylor, and Ty Beaudoin began filming for a new version of Help Wanted TV, which we planned to debut when we made our grand entrance into high school at Park View Education Centre.

More girls in need of impressing. This was going to call for some seriously hilarious hijinx.

Behind-the-Scenes: Treevenge

2008-01-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

Hey there friendos, check out a photo of the progress of my special effects head that's going to be used in Jason Eisener's upcoming short-film Treevenge. The head is being created by Lindsay Thorne; check it oot...

I'll be filming my scenes for Treevenge later in the month. Stay tuned for a set visit later on in the month and Chapter 3 of Building the GlenJMpire later on this week. Bounce.

Holiday Cheer!

2007-12-26T07:44:00.000-08:00

Myself and my fellow Neptune Young Company-ers have been given two weeks away from each other for the Holidays.

Prior to our break, we were in our 13th week of the tour. Thirteen weeks of two plays, roughly 8 to 10 performances a week [do the math if you like].

I feel like a complete and utter wanker claiming fatigue in a profession such as this, because it's either this, or working at the movie theatre, but the repetition was absolutely killing me. About three weeks ago while I was standing on a stage [and by stage, I mean gym floor], halfway through a scene in Liars with Kim "Kimbo Slice" Parkhill, when I realized I had no idea what I was saying, I was the embodiment of "going through the motions".

This is what some would call a slap in the face.

I had officially encountered my first major pitfall as a young actor: comfort. My lazy ass got comfortable. Closing in on three months into the tour, I had worked myself into a groove, a lazy useless groove that I had to kick because I still had two weeks to go before the big beautiful two week Christmas break.

It was back to the script. Back to reminding myself that acting is work. It is difficult.

I did a lot of homework and reminding myself who I was working with and working for, and what an awesome experience the tour on a whole is. I have a very thick skull, but I think it worked; the thirteenth week was a treat. I heard the children laugh, the birds chirp, the sun shine, and what my fellow actors said to me during our scenes. Hoorah.

One of the crowning achievements of the tour thus far, was from our final day when we were at an elementary school in Dartmouth. After each show, we have a questions and answers period for the students to ask us any questions regarding the show or about being an actor. During this particular Q&A period, an adorable blond haired girl wearing a tie-dye t-shirt raised her hand, and asked the question "Do you guys like graveyards?"... and no, there was nothing involving graveyards or cemetaries in our show. Bizarre.

And then we were on a well deserved break, where we will remain until January 7th.

Alright, let's talk business, what the shit did I get in the name of Jesusmas?

Kristin [the lady with whom I am currently romantically linked], for GlenandKristmas [which we celebrated on the 21st] bought me a 7.2 megapixel digital camera, which I used to document the following...

Here is an un-endearing photo of Kristin.

Collection of Batman action figures that chronicles the Batmen through the ages. From Kristin.

Superbad on DVD and the TV series Long Way Down DVD from Kristin.

I got a chubby!

...get it?

Two books: Rebel Without a Crew by Robert Rodriguez and The Rum Diaries by Hunter S. Thompsom. From Kristin.

A shirt from the Mother of Kristin Slaney.

This is a non-doctored (swear to Buddha) photo of our cat Lilly (AKA Rosey, Peppy). The devil lives in our cat.

Kristin built a beautiful gingerbread house with no help from anyone! Even though, she wouldn't stop asking for it.

The next day, I hopped on a bus headed to the South Shore where I would spend real-Christmas with the family in Lunenburg/Riverport...

Myself and my niece, Neve. Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm choking her.

$$$ from parents.

Here's a drawing that Neve did, and Vanessa and Curtis brought it to a screen printer and they transferred onto a t-shirt. Awesome.

Expert Bionicle builder.

One satisfied customer.

Myself playing with Neve's Optimus Prime helmet/voice-changer, and gun. It ain't no Optimus Primal, but it will do.

I'm still relaxing down in the South Shore with just under two more weeks of nothing to do to go. I plan to catch up on some good reading, play some Xbox 360, do some writing, and of course, study my scripts for the remaining two weeks left in the tour when we return.

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope all is well.

Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter Two.

2007-12-24T19:00:00.001-08:00

CHAPTER TWO:
“JUNIOR HIERARCHY”
September 1998 to February 1999

September 1998. New bus route. New book-bag. It’s off to Junior High School at Centre Consolidated.

I already know a handful of chums from playing minor hockey with the Lunenburg Falcons so the whole “us versus them” mentality is minimal. However, there are about three grades of lady folk whom I have never laid my eyes on… three grades of women in need of impressing.

Despite 1998 being the golden age of professional wrestling, I knew that my backyard wrestling skills were not the way to a woman’s heart.

My involvement in Ultimate Wrestling Championship would have to be kept secret, for the sake of my place in the junior high school hierarchy.

In my spare time after school, I was obsessed with UWC. Drawing designs for posters, or costumes for wrestlers, practicing moves on my Alf teddy bear, creating our championship belt…

Rather than using my extracurricular time to take part in school affairs (and possibly impress girls), my life was encompassed by backyard wrestling.

One particular weekend in October, we had our second PPV (short for pay-per-view) Hell & Back and I brought the VHS (short for video-home-system) into school on Monday to give to Scott, when we decided to set up a TV and watch it during recess. A [very] small crowd gathered to watch the video, and laugh at the Disco Stu’s and The Bum’s of UWC “wrestling” in Scott’s backyard.

We had a following. Approximately 5 apathetic fans.

UWC pay-per-view #3, Unnatural Disaster was happening in late October. It was beginning to get cold outside and the minor hockey season was starting back up soon, so we figured this would be the last pay=per-view until the Spring season.

Joining the roster of UWC were Matthew Tanner as [the punk rock murderer] Misfit, Taylor Daurie as [the native Indian] Chief, and Evan Mosher as [yet another offensive wrestler] Alfred the Retard.

UWC PPV#3: Unnatural Disaster
-Saffire def. Jerry the Jolting Jew
-Misfit def. Fishin' Frank
-Pec Parka def. Johnny Jerk-Off
-Cheif def. Will Bates
-the Bum def. Jim the Janitor
-Brocus def. Alfred the Retard
-Johnny Jerk-Off def. Morbid

Three ppv’s in the bag, and we were in hiatus for the Winter… lame. It was back to another tour of duty with the Lunenburg Falcons.

Jump ahead a few months…

Shortly into 1999, my fellow Lunenburg Falcon, UWC founder and dear friend, Scott Bailey, had begun hanging out with classmate Mike Nauss, who ran a Tom Green fan site. Mike had used his tech skills to start an internet-based radio show called Brew Crew Radio, in which himself, Scott, Jeff Rodenhizer, and Corey Morash would discuss certain non-relevant topics, prank phone call innocent civilians, and call kids at school fat.

It was one of the first podcasts on the internet. And I wanted in on this barbaric ritual.

I demanded Scott hand over Mike’s email, and next weekend I was taking part in Brew Crew Radio’s Episode #3. I was horrendously nervous (mic fright?), and I contributed absolutely shit-all.

I was really down on myself and I wanted to go back to backyard wrestling. My venture into internet-radio was a failure. Luckily, Brew Crew Radio only lasted one more episode before being innovated. The innovation, would be the addition of video taped segments to the website. There was hope!

The now defunct Brew Crew Radio, was now known as Brew Crew Productions.

This was something I could potentially sink some teeth into…

GlenJM.com Archives Deluxe

2007-12-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

I am planning on revamping GlenJM.com at some point over the Christmas break. I decided that since I have developed such an intense relationship with this blog I have hear, that GlenJM.blogspot.com will become your primary source for everything Glen J. Matthews. Kapiche?

Therefore, the News-Feed on GlenJM.com will be abolished, and the website will be tidied-up for easier access to the website's information.

Thus alas therefore continuing, I present three months of Archives for archiving sakes...

Treevenge & More!
November 12th, 2007
I am going to be featured in Jason Eisener's next short film tentatively titled "Treevenge". I will be shooting during December. This is my third project with Eisener (Streets of Domination, Hobo With a Shotgun, and now Treevenge). The film will be produced by Yer Dead Inc.

Congrats to Eisener, who has been named 2007's Best Independant Filmmaker in Halifax by The Coast. Check out the article here or in The Coast.

WEBSITE UPDATE: I think the next update will showcase a new format for the website. Stay tuned!

For now, keep checking out my blog for my tour with Neptune Theatre's Young Company @ GlenJM.blogspot.com.

On the Road with Neptune Young Company
October 5th, 2007
Last week, I began touring the Maritimes as a member of the 28th Neptune Theatre Young Company tour. The tour will take me to all corners of the Maritimes in the next 4 months as I (and my fellow cast-mates Kim Parkhill, Adam Bayne, Gillian Ferrier & Stage Manager Darcy "Cockshirt" Lindzon) present Liars & Bump in the Night to schools all over.

So far, so friggin' good. The tour has been an absolute blast and has been getting some positive feedback. I have started a blog dedicated to the tour "Glen Matthews: Actor/World Traveler EXCITEMENT Blog!" @ GlenJM.blogspot.com Check it out and follow my progress as a rockstar for children!

Script in Development w/ John Davies
October 5th, 2007
I am thrilled to announce that I have recently began working on a script for a short film with John Davies that he will direct and I will be featured in. John is the writer/producer of both Hobo With a Shotgun & Streets of Domination and the director of Moving Day (featured in the 2007 Atlantic Film Festival). We are planning to begin shooting in January. Should be good.

'Top Dog' at the 27th Atlantic Film Festival
September 5th, 2007
Evan Elliot's "The Top Dog" (starring my lovely self) will be featured in the 27th Atlantic Film Festival as part of Atlantic Shorts II, Monday September 17th at 9:20, a night showcasing short films produced locally. The event will be happening at Empire 8 Park Lane Cinemas 5657 Spring Garden Road.

When Russell's parents get a new dog, his comfortable dead-end life of couch surfing, home cooking and free laundry service takes a turn for the worse.

Click here to buy tickets to Atlantic Shorts II at the AFF.

'Phone Whores' at Salon de Refuse Atlantique '07
September 5th, 2007
The premiere of "Phone Whores", a film I was featured in last year, is going to be part of the 7th Annual Salon de Refuse Atlantique (a festival of films that were rejected by the AFF). In the film, I played a call centre employee named Duncan who suffers from a certain 'sexual retardation'.

The evening will include 3 other short films and will be held at the Khyber Club (1588 Barrington St.) at 7pm to 10pm. Tickets are available at the door for $6. 19+.

'JOG or DIE'
September 5th, 2007
I have released my newest masterpiece, Jog or Die, a short film featuring a man (played by myself) who goes for a leisurely jog around the block to get away from it all. Little does he know that blood, revenge and bloody-revenge are just around the corner. Written, directed & edited by myself and Produced by Ryan Creaser. Watch it on YouTube here.

'Tough!' at the 17th Atlantic Fringe Festival
August 22nd, 2007
Along with being in the 27th Atlantic Film Festival, I am also taking part in the 17th Atlantic Fringe Festival. I will be in 'Tough!', a play by George F.Walker. The show will feature Kristin Slaney as Tina, myself as Bobby, and Jessica Barry as Jill with Gina Thornhill directing and Meghan Hubley stage managing.

"Boy meets girl. Boy and girl date. Girl gets pregnant... Now what?"

The shows are
Saturday, September 1st at 4:00pm
Friday, September 7th at 8:15pm
Saturday, September 8th at 9:45pm
& Sunday, September 9th at 3:45pm

All of the performances will be at the Khyber Club (1588 Barrington St) Turret Room on the third floor. Tickets are 6 dollars. Come check it out and support some independant theatre. Call 902-221-7579 for tickets!

If you have any other questions, check out the 'Tough' FaceBook Event.

27th Atlantic Film Festival
August 16th, 2007
One of the films I have worked on in the past year has been accepted into the 27th Atlantic Film Festival (to be held September 13-22). I am not alllowed the say what movie it is until August 31st, when the festival program and schedule is released. In the mean time check out the website for the 27th Atlantic Film Festival.

Neptune Theatre's Young Company
July 15th, 2007
I have been added to the cast of Neptune Theatre's Young Company, which is going into it's 27th season of touring. We will be travelling the Maritimes starting this September for 11 weeks, and putting on plays (either Liars by Dennis Foon, or Bump In the Night by Luke Brown) for elementary, junior high and high schools. The shows will be directed by my Pre-Professional Training Program instructor Samantha Wilson. More info available at the Neptune Young Company website.

Wrapped for Streets of Domination
July 15th, 2007
I am officially wrapped for Streets of Domination; 11 months after I began working on Jason Eisener and John Davies' first feature film, I am done principal photography. Jason and John, I really can't believe I didn't witness someone lose a limb working on this film. I'm working on my 3rd Streets Set Visit so stick around for that. Streets of Domination is set for an October 2007 premiere.

Jog Or Die
July 15th, 2007
Last week during my vacation I was hard at work, filming my next short film, Jog Or Die. Myself and Ryan Creaser started the film back during Christmas but due to inclement weather (and us hating the cold), filming was put off until last week. We still have one more scene to film and then it will be yours for the viewing! You can expect that late in August.

Endure 2012
July 15th, 2007
I completed work on the pilot episode of Mike Nauss' (Garden Hoe Productions) Endure 2012. The pilot will air courtesy the internet this fall and a website for the show will be launched soon.
Q: why should you bring AN extra pair of pants when you golf???... A: IN case you get a hole in ONE!!11

Welcome!
July 2nd, 2007
Welcome ladies and gents to the brand-new/re-launched glenmatthews.tk! Have a look around, everything has been re-designed and put into a tiny little package for your convinience. Have a look around! One love.

Parker Porkham, Supernatural Detective
July 2nd, 2007
I just completed an episode for the upcoming internet-based show Parker Porkham written and directed by Sam Fisher (Silver Leaf Productions). In the episode, I play twin scientists Dr. Jules & Dr. Verne who have a science experiment go horrendously wrong. The show will air this Fall.

Streets of Domination update
July 2nd, 2007
This weekend I am set to shoot my final scenes for Jason Eisener's first feature film, Streets of Domination. I have some behind-the-scenes footage compiled and I hope to get more this weekend to complete my 3rd Streets Set Visit. In the mean time, check out the first & second set visits shot by myself.

Endure 2012
July 2nd, 2007
Next week, I am heading home to Lunenburg for my vacation, and during my time home I will be working with Mike Nauss (Garden Hoe Productions) on his new show Endure 2012. The show will be a huge mixture of animation, green screen, and live-action. Fun.
Q: what's the friendliest schooL???... A: "Hi" school!!!

Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter One.

2007-12-08T15:01:00.001-08:00

CHAPTER ZERO:
PROLOGUE

Brilliant?

…or self-indulgent?

I have no idea what this portion of my blog will become. I hope a mix of both. But most of all, I hope it will entertain, and enlighten the masses as to how the hell Glen Matthews became the entertainer he is today. He will also try to keep talking in the third person to a minimum.

The primary purpose of “Building the GlenJMpire” for me, is to figure out how I got to where I’m at today, by having a look back at every step along the way. In other words, I am very forgetful.

I believe it was Winston Churchill who said “History is written by the victors.”, I don’t know if I’m a victor per say, but I do have a blog. So let’s get started.

CHAPTER ONE:
“BACKYARD WRASSLIN'”
June 1998 to September 1998

The year is 1998. I am 13 years old. The Detroit Red Wings have won their second Stanley Cup in a row, Charlton Heston has just been announced as the President of the NRA, and the mass media has made me fear blowjobs and blue dresses...

It was July, which meant two things, no school, and no hockey, so I spent my time with my dear friends Scott Bailey & Daniel Moore biking around Lunenburg County, watching professional wrestling, sneaking into the Oven’s Campground swimming pool, and pretending to like the taste of beer. It was our final Summer before being forced into the Junior High School system at Centre Consolidated Junior High.

One particularly sunny Friday, I biked over to Scott’s and we played WWF Warzone on his Nintendo 64 until it was time for some grilled-cheese snacks. During the feast, Scott’s Mother asked if he had shown me the camera yet. I stared in awe as Scott hauled out this monster of a VHS Camcorder (something you would get a gun pointed at you for carrying to a border-crossing).

10 minutes later we were in his backyard with his coach pillows laid out and the camera on a tripod filming us “performing” powerbombs, piledrivers, DDT’s, clotheslines, Russian leg sweeps, Stone Cold stunners, Rock Bottoms, & Pedigrees. Who needs video games when you can do it yourself?

That night, we wrote the words “Low Budget Productions” on a piece of cardboard and proceeded to film our first film “The Blonde Bitch Project”, in which a teenaged blonde girl (played by Scott Bailey) is abandoned by her friends whilst camping and she gets raped by a demon… I don’t know why, but there was something irresistibly funny about demon-rape at the age of 13.

Up next, we sat down, and wrote the words “Ultimate Wrestling Championship” on another piece of cardboard and started creating a roster of talent. Due to a lack of friends who shared our passion for pro wrestling, we determined that we would each have to create a few personas each.

My first creation was a wrestler/disco dance freak named Disco Stu, followed by “The Slovakian Sensation” Brocus, and Peter “Don’t Make Me Laugh” Bruin. Scott followed by creating the mysterious Wolfgang Stone, the stereotypical Fisherman Frank, and the offensive Jerry “The Jolting” Jew.

The Slovak, Brocus

Fishin' Frank

The Bum

Peter Bruin (note: the Bruins jersey)

The next morning we had a few friends over and convinced them to join “Lunenburg County’s brand-new backyard wrestling organization”: UWC! Another beautiful day in Feltzen South permitted us to have our very first Pay-Per-View (and no, no one ever paid to view us).

Glen Matthews circa 1998 (note the jean shorts)

We rolled around in the backyard and took turns wrestling, operating the camera, operating the CD player and being the referee, and [three hours later] when the final bell rang, it ended just like it all started: we all went inside to chow down on a fuck-load of grilled-cheese sandwiches and watch ourselves up on the “big screen”. It was fantastic, hilarious, inspiring and ferociously embarrassing all at once.

HARDCORE!!!11!

It was this moment, whilst snacking that I determined that I was undoubtedly going to be a professional wrestler someday.

I knew this was something that I wanted to keep going, and to keep it going,, I was going to need friends. All of a sudden, I was a lot more willing to join Centre Consolidated Junior High…

The Landlord With an Addiction to Eviction!

2007-12-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

Attention Span TV
Episode 6
Featuring my damned self as a Landlord with an addiction to eviction. The skit (written & directed by Matt Chisholm) is cut up into a few different parts of the episode so make sure to watch the entire episode. Check it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBCMN1Y8fgU

Written & Directed by Matt Chisholm
Director of Photography, Colin Duann
Lighting by Liza Herbert
Sound by Crystal Porter
Grip, Brandon Murphy

Attention Span TV & Treevenge Pre-Production

2007-12-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

ATTENTION-SPAN TV
SET REPORT

I spent my past Saturday evening with the crew of Attention Span TV, an internet-based series (@ http://www.Attention-Span.tv), featuring skits created on a weekly basis by the students of the Centre For Arts & Technology.
We were shooting the tentatively titled “The Landlord”. In it, I play Larry, a landlord with an addiction to eviction. I am one BAMF.

Kristin Slaney (with whom I am romantically linked to in RL) took part in the shoot playing a pregnant lady (whom we affectionately titled ‘Prego’). This was Ms. Slaney’s 4th time in her young acting career playing a pregnant woman. The theatre gods are trying to tell you something, Kristin… stay the fuck away from me.

Kristin Slaney (Prego) being touched by Crystal Porter (Claire).

Myself pictured with Attention Span TV executive producer and director of “The Landlord”, the 6 foot 3, Matt Chisholm.

Herbal cigarettes. The most badass of all.

The final shots shortly before wrapping things up at 3:30am.

“The Landlord” will be included in this Friday’s (December 7) episode #7 of Attention Span TV over @ http://ww.w.Attention-Span.tv.

Thanks to the crew (Matt Chisholm, Colin Duann, Liza Herbert, B-Roll) having me out Saturday night. Also, thanks to my girlfriend, Kristin for letting me make jokes about pushing you down a flight of stairs if you were actually pregnant.

TREEVENGE
PRE-PRODUCTION

Sunday morning, myself and Kristin had to head to the North End to have our heads molded for Jason Eisener’s upcoming short film “Treevenge” (tentative title), in which we play a young, sexy, promiscuous couple.

Our heads were being molded by Lindsay Thorne for some heavy duty special effects which will occur in January when we shoot our scenes.

Kristin was up first…

Kristin had a little freak-out attack so I was forced to hold her hand...

…What a pussy.

FINAL PRODUCT!

Yours truly was up next...

Myself as “Darkman”.

FINAL PRODUCT!

Later on Sunday evening, I got a message from Lindsay showing me the early stages of my special effects head…

Soooo effing bizarre. Ha.

Treevenge is currently shooting, and is looking like a Christmas 2008 (yes, 2008) release. The film is written and directed by Jason Eisener (Hobo With a Shotgun, Streets of Domination), executively produced be Rob Cotterill (Trailer Park Boys), and produced by Sarah Dunsworth (Trailer Park Boys).

You dig?

Childhood Hero.

2007-12-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

Hello there folks, I had myself a busy weekend. Well, Friday I did fuck-all besides do my dick and fart jokes for elementary school students, but Saturday and Sunday were pretty damned action packed.

Saturday morning, I heard of a book signing by my child-hood hero Bret "The HitMan" Hart at the Costco in Bayers Lake, so I got my shit together and I trekked out to encounter The Hitman. My first stop in Bayers Lake was Chapters to pick up his book. I arrived at Costco shortly before noon (the scheduled start time for the book signing).

There was a huge line up, and I was informed that there were people who arrived at 8:00am, but I was alright for standing around for a few hours to meet my hero. They (Costco) were issuing tickets to the patrons to regulate the line. After 45 minutes in the lineup to get a ticket to grant me access to the real line, I was at the front of the line...

It was at this pivotal time in my life when the Costco-monkey informed me that she had just given away the very last ticket. The very last fucking ticket! I proceeded to ask if I could just go in and look at the man. She asked for my Costco membership card. I told her I didn't have one. She told me I couldn't see my childhood hero. I screamed "Fuck" in front of at least 30 children. I left Costco.

I then walked to Chapters and got a refund for Bret Hart's book.

It's nothing against The Hitman himself. I still absolutely love him, but I can't stand to look or listen to him. Not after that. I was so close to meeting my childhood hero, and the only thing keeping us apart was a Costco membership.

Thus, I shopped for a new book, and a new childhood hero, and I picked up "The Greedy Bastard Diary" written by my new childhood hero, Eric Idle.

The Dawn of a New Blog

2007-11-25T15:00:00.000-08:00

Hello there ladies, gentlemens, internet lurkers-alike; it has been yet another two grueling weeks since my last blog update, and it is time that I take action! As of this day of November 25th, 2007, I am officially changing gears with this blog.

It will now be a multipurpose blog that features...

News and updates from the Neptune Young Company Tour
Behind-the-scenes reports from whatever project I'm working on
A Chronicle of my career to date, start to finish, titled "Building the GlenJMpire"
& whatever else I deem necessary to share with the internet.

For the time being, let's deal with the Neptune Young Company Tour side of things; everything has been fine and/or dandy! Last week, we spent a good portion of our time in the South Shore (my home region).

During which, fellow South Shorer, Ms. Gillian Ferrier got to perform at her former High School...

Adam "Banye West" & Kim "Kimbo Slice" Parkhill shopping in Sobeys in Digby in full makeup. The townspeople hated them passionately.

The best labeling of a Recycling bin I have ever laid my eyes on...

During the week, I had the chance to spend an evening in Lunenburg with the family (Mom, Dad, Niece, cat, dog, etc), and had a lovely visit.

The visit turned out to be a timely one as it was my first time being home in a couple months, and I got to have some intense hangouts with my 16 year old dog CoCo (notice the case sensitive spelling of her name); took her for a walk, played ball, let her lick my face.

On Saturday morning, I recieved a call from my Mother who informed me that she had to put CoCo down. Le fucking sigh. I just wanted to give a shout out to my pup. I will never watch My Dog Skip again. Everybody says it, so I guess I will too: She was the best ever. I love you CoCo...

In other news, there's not that much news. We're taking the tour back down to the South Shore tomorrow morning until Friday.

In blog news, expect the first installment of "The Chronicles of Glen Matthews: Building the GlenJMpire" at some point this week.

The installments will catch you up on everything that has lead up to me being the impeccable performer I am today, from backyard wrestling (Ultimate Wrestling Championship), to making my first film (Mugshots).

Myself as my alter-ego, Brocus, the Slovakian Backyard Wrester.

I will teach you how I became the man I am today. Up next, we will start from the beginning, I will take you to the year 1997 when I joined an internet based radio show called "Brew Crew Radio".

Stay tuned, you bastards!

"I'm not dead!

2007-11-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

Alright, I know last time, I apologized for not updating the blog in two weeks; well now it's been three weeks since that update. I'm not going to apologize. I'm not. What I am going to do is offer you the equivalent of a back-rub in the form of a kickarse blog update (and yes, a happy ending is included).

Three weeks! Holy shit! Man, I really don't know what has happened since the last update, (I really have to cutback on the smack) but I was lucky enough to have a series of photographs to jog my memory...

Apparently, the annual holiday of "Halloween" occurred during the past three weeks, sooo, happy halloween??

For some odd, inexplicable reason, the town of Glooscap has decided to have a terrifying twenty foot tall replica of an incredibly furious red E.T. Extraterrestrial-esque native Indian greet visitors to their town.

Are they serious?

In regards to less-horrifying blogging, we were lucky enough to perform at Mi'kmawey Elementary School (in Chapel Island) where we managed to hangout after the show with the kids...

Not one of those little bastards would share their Froot-Rollups!

Another school we visited thought that (according to the paintings on their walls) that Cool Girls have hot pink hair and that black people have yellow eyes (similar to Predator)...

Along our travels, we had the pleasure of spending a week in Cape Breton as we drove the entire Cabot Trail (and managed to fit some work in sometimes)...

The following is the fab four ourselves posing in front of a cliff of the Cape Breton Highlands...

...and Darcie staying "at least 10 feet away" from the edge...

More beauty supplied by the highlands...

Some quality graffiti created by the students of a high school in CB...

The van getting stuck on the Cape Breton side for a while as a boat passes through the causeway...

And now, a lovely little note the students from Walter Duggan Elementary School decided to write for us...

Finally, earlier today I experienced a truly fantastic moment. I finally have made it. No ifs, ands, or butts.

There we were, our names in the lights! Right between "Photo Retakes" and "Remembrance Day"; that right there is two important fucking days!!

Seven weeks down. Six weeks to go! Shizer!

5,000+ KM

2007-10-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

I would like to apologize for my 'lax blog maintenance; it has been nearly 2 weeks since we last caught up, and I feel horrible for losing touch. Put some tea on, sit down, shut up and read all of the following words I type (and enjoy)...

Apparently I had a sizable "boner" during this Kodak moment.

Just today, we managed to surpass the 5,000 km mark for our voyage thus far! This evening, I am in a hotel in Antigonish watching some quality cable television and enjoying the luxury of "Free WiFi Wireless Internet!" The past two weeks have been busy ones; we got to spend approximately 22 hours (yes, in total) on the lovely isle of Prince Edward.

Our visit to the island consisted of arriving, eating, sleeping, and performing. We did happen to learn from a school that the mud on PEI is red because of copper. Fascinating!

We crossed "The World's Longest Covered Bridge" in Hartland...

We went to Pugwash two separate times in a week where Kim hurt herself by using her shin to combat a piece of wood...

A stitch was required to close the wound... poor Kimbo.

Another interesting plot point to our visit in Pugwash, was the children's amazement at our arrival. We had a mob of dozens of kids standing around asking if we were the Doodlebops (a popular children's television show). Apparently, someone amongst the teaching staff thought it would be a good idea to let the younglings think that The Doodlebops were coming to their school.

Who can blame them?

Shnacks.

I like to call this piece, "Dicking around in a mall".

Myself in my 'Eric' attire for 'Bump In The Night' as I spy on children.

One thing that I would like to bring up that hasn't been touched on as of yet, that is the two people who are solely responsible for the dummies used in 'Liars'...

A big thanks goes out to Kevin and Theresa for their hard work and dedication, as they are living inside of the dummies for the entire duration of the tour. These guys are sports. Keep it up guys!

That's all for now! Next week we are headed to Cape Breton for the entire week so we shall have some stories to tell! Speak to you soon. Merry Christmas!

New Nouveau Brunswick

2007-10-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

Whoa there! We just got back (on Friday) from putting on the first shows EVER in New Brunswick by Neptune Theatre! We're kind of a big deal.

Prepare yourself for plenty of photographs paired with witty one-line summaries!

Our first stop in ye olde New Brunswick was Chipman Forest Avenue School which happens to be Mrs. Kim "The Feather" Parkhill's former stomping grounds!

Afterwards, we headed to Kim's uncle's cabin (where we would be staying on Monday, Tuesday and some o' Wednesday). He just so happens to be a plastic surgeon so we were located primarily square in the middle of the lap of luxury for a few days..

P.I.M.P... 'nuff said.

Upon the sight of the monstrous cabin, Bayne lost control of all sexual urges and inserted himself into one of our dummies.

To combat cabin fever, Gill & Adam combated each other.

I'm not sure how, but Adam received a bloody lip from one Ms. Gillian Ferrier. One tough cookie.

Hot & Steamy.

Mr. Darcy "Agassi" Lindzon celebrating on OUR own tennis court.

..something Kim thought was worth taking a picture of.

During my time at the cabin, I spent a copious amount of time nature-hiking where I wrote, walked, broke sticks, and experienced the best nature has to offer including frogs, canadian geese, and a beaver (or a loch ness monster)...

Three days came, and three days went and the day came for us to leave the cabin. We moved on to a motel, did a couple shows and made our way home. On our way to Halifax, we stopped at a Big Stop where a truck accidentally scratched our door, and continued to leave; it's okay though because I got their licence plate on my cell phone...

And last but not least, I would like to share with all of you, a little piece of me, a little piece of who I am, and that is, my uncontrollable desire for comparing myself to Jesus H. Christ...

Until next time, reach for the stars!

The Tour So Far!

2007-09-30T09:35:00.001-07:00

We are one full week into the tour and we have "hit up" five schools across Nova Scotia thus far!

Things are going swimmingly! For our first week, we went to the Northeast Kings Education Centre in the Valley (the day after our first show), where we ran into some extreme technical problems, when our amp decided to not work approximately 20 minutes before the show started. Darcy ran off and tracked down the residential tech-student Russell who supplied us with a functioning cable, thus saving the day! Russell was dubbed "the man" for the day.

On Thursday we travelled to the South Shore to my hometown of Bridgewater/Lunenburg, where we performed at my former high school Park View Education Centre!

Myself in front of the infamous "Bush Cones" of the PVEC front lawn...

I had a ball. Really. It was a bit odd, though; performing a play about alcoholism for the younger brothers & sisters of people with whom I used to get absolutely shitfaced with. I felt like an imposter, and that they all knew my boozey ways.

Thanks to everyone involved in that day. It was a pretty rad day in my life.

I apologize for the lack of exciting stories, but I brought lots of pictures to make you happy! Tomorrow morning we leave for Chipman, New Brunswick (a 4 hour drive) and we will be on the road until Friday evening so until then, I'm sure I'll stumble upon something worth writing here; and if not, I'll just make it up!

To track our footage, check out Neptune Theatre's Google Map of our Tour!! Bon voyage!

Tour Day 01

2007-09-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday was our big final day of preparations before we started the tour on Monday, so we packed up the van. Here we are, Neptune Theatre's 28th Young Company featuring (as pictured below) Kim Parkhill, Adam Bayne, Gillian Ferrier, Glen Matthews (what?what?) & our stage manager Darcy Lindzon.

Today we started off our tour with a showing of "Liars" to Herring Cove Junior High School.

Upon arrival, when I was unpacking the van, two young students walked up to me and we shared a conversation that went as follows...

Children: Hey, are you in the play?
Glen Matthews: Well yes I am.
Children: What's it about?
Glen Matthews: It's about two kids--
Children: Are they homo?

And then they ran off into the school.

This tour is going to be awesome. I mean, where else do you get to experience random-assed conversations like that?

The kids were ushered into the gymnasium, we put on pre-show music (Sk8r Boi), then rocked some theatrical socks. The kids were ridiculously responsive and fantastic. During Adam & Gill's stage kiss that kids went bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S). Those little kids are perverted.

Anyways, just wanted to let the masses know that our tour has started off on a great note, and I will try to keep sharing stories from the road for y'all to enjoy!

We head out to Canning tomorrow, then Dartmouth on Wednesday and then Bridgewater to hit up Park View, my former effing High School! So that's pretty intense. Thanks for reading!

Less than one week....

2007-09-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

We are now in our third week of rehearsals and now have less than one week before we depart on the great conquest.

For the past three weeks, we have been hard at work rehearsing. Therefore, I don't have many/any traveling tales to share. All that good stuff comes in the next couple weeks!

In the mean time, have a look at some behind-the-scenes treats...
Here's our set for our elementary school show "A Bump in the Night"

Here is myself in my "gut-suit" for "Liars"...

Mr. Adam Bayne touching his own ass...

Last Wednesday, during my morning rituals before rehearsal, I was rough-housing with my lady-friend Kristin, during which I went to bite her knee, when she kneed me in the mouth, during which I retracted my head at a quick speed, resulting in the back of my head absolutely smoking Kristin in the nose. After a visit to the emergency room, it was determined that her nose was still intact. It's almost a week later and her black eye is finally diminishing.

I thought I'd include this because I can finally say that I hit my girlfriend in the face. Hard. Very hard. Sorry Kristin, just remember how much pain I can inflict on you at any given moment...

I am all that is man.

That's all for now, next week we start our tour in Halifax and some down in my hometown of the good ole' South Shore, so expect a plentiful amount of updates in the coming weeks!

Exciting Excitement!

2007-09-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

Hello there, friends and internet lurkers, alike. Welcome to my fresh-out-of-the-womb "Glen Matthews: Actor/World Traveler Excitement Blog!".

Recently, I have become employed by Neptune Theatre as a member of their Young Company. The purpose of the Young Company is to travel around the Atlantic Provinces of Canada and put on plays for kids in elementary & junior high schools, and introduce them to the theatrical arts. Pretty cool.

This allows me to be a tourist in my own "hood", as I am going to be visiting every nook and every cranny of the Maritimes. In the coming months I will be visiting New Brunswick, PEI, Cape Breton and a good portion of my time will be spent on the mainland of Nova Scotia.

Join me with my trusty Motorola Krazr cellular phone, which I will use to document the journey across these vast lands...

I will be departing the 23rd of September towards somewheres within Nova Scotia. I will be joined by my cast mates Adam Bayne, Gillian Ferrier & Kim Parkhill (in alphabetical order because I haven't decided which ones of them I like best, yet), and directed by my Pre-Professional Training Program instructor Samantha Wilson, and Stage Managed by Darcy Lindzon.

We began rehearsing almost a week ago on Monday, and during my first morning as an employee of Neptune Theatre, I was presented with my very own mug, with my name scotch-taped on the side.

Me = hot shit.

Rehearsals are well under way and we are working hard on getting ready to bring this bad-boy to the stage for the rabid children to devour.

Stay tuned for 2-megapixel photographs taken from wherever the tour takes me, and more hilarious anecdotes. Excitement!