Attention Span TV & Treevenge Pre-Production

ATTENTION-SPAN TV
SET REPORT

I spent my past Saturday evening with the crew of Attention Span TV, an internet-based series (@ http://www.Attention-Span.tv), featuring skits created on a weekly basis by the students of the Centre For Arts & Technology.
We were shooting the tentatively titled “The Landlord”. In it, I play Larry, a landlord with an addiction to eviction. I am one BAMF.

Kristin Slaney (with whom I am romantically linked to in RL) took part in the shoot playing a pregnant lady (whom we affectionately titled ‘Prego’). This was Ms. Slaney’s 4th time in her young acting career playing a pregnant woman. The theatre gods are trying to tell you something, Kristin… stay the fuck away from me.

Kristin Slaney (Prego) being touched by Crystal Porter (Claire).

Myself pictured with Attention Span TV executive producer and director of “The Landlord”, the 6 foot 3, Matt Chisholm.

Herbal cigarettes. The most badass of all.

The final shots shortly before wrapping things up at 3:30am.

“The Landlord” will be included in this Friday’s (December 7) episode #7 of Attention Span TV over @ http://ww.w.Attention-Span.tv.

Thanks to the crew (Matt Chisholm, Colin Duann, Liza Herbert, B-Roll) having me out Saturday night. Also, thanks to my girlfriend, Kristin for letting me make jokes about pushing you down a flight of stairs if you were actually pregnant.



TREEVENGE
PRE-PRODUCTION

Sunday morning, myself and Kristin had to head to the North End to have our heads molded for Jason Eisener’s upcoming short film “Treevenge” (tentative title), in which we play a young, sexy, promiscuous couple.

Our heads were being molded by Lindsay Thorne for some heavy duty special effects which will occur in January when we shoot our scenes.

Kristin was up first…






Kristin had a little freak-out attack so I was forced to hold her hand...

…What a pussy.

FINAL PRODUCT!

Yours truly was up next...

Myself as “Darkman”.

FINAL PRODUCT!

Later on Sunday evening, I got a message from Lindsay showing me the early stages of my special effects head…

Soooo effing bizarre. Ha.

Treevenge is currently shooting, and is looking like a Christmas 2008 (yes, 2008) release. The film is written and directed by Jason Eisener (Hobo With a Shotgun, Streets of Domination), executively produced be Rob Cotterill (Trailer Park Boys), and produced by Sarah Dunsworth (Trailer Park Boys).

You dig?

Childhood Hero.

Hello there folks, I had myself a busy weekend. Well, Friday I did fuck-all besides do my dick and fart jokes for elementary school students, but Saturday and Sunday were pretty damned action packed.

Saturday morning, I heard of a book signing by my child-hood hero Bret "The HitMan" Hart at the Costco in Bayers Lake, so I got my shit together and I trekked out to encounter The Hitman. My first stop in Bayers Lake was Chapters to pick up his book. I arrived at Costco shortly before noon (the scheduled start time for the book signing).

There was a huge line up, and I was informed that there were people who arrived at 8:00am, but I was alright for standing around for a few hours to meet my hero. They (Costco) were issuing tickets to the patrons to regulate the line. After 45 minutes in the lineup to get a ticket to grant me access to the real line, I was at the front of the line...

It was at this pivotal time in my life when the Costco-monkey informed me that she had just given away the very last ticket. The very last fucking ticket! I proceeded to ask if I could just go in and look at the man. She asked for my Costco membership card. I told her I didn't have one. She told me I couldn't see my childhood hero. I screamed "Fuck" in front of at least 30 children. I left Costco.

I then walked to Chapters and got a refund for Bret Hart's book.

It's nothing against The Hitman himself. I still absolutely love him, but I can't stand to look or listen to him. Not after that. I was so close to meeting my childhood hero, and the only thing keeping us apart was a Costco membership.

Thus, I shopped for a new book, and a new childhood hero, and I picked up "The Greedy Bastard Diary" written by my new childhood hero, Eric Idle.

The Dawn of a New Blog

Hello there ladies, gentlemens, internet lurkers-alike; it has been yet another two grueling weeks since my last blog update, and it is time that I take action! As of this day of November 25th, 2007, I am officially changing gears with this blog.

It will now be a multipurpose blog that features...

• News and updates from the Neptune Young Company Tour
• Behind-the-scenes reports from whatever project I'm working on
• A Chronicle of my career to date, start to finish, titled "Building the GlenJMpire"
• & whatever else I deem necessary to share with the internet.

For the time being, let's deal with the Neptune Young Company Tour side of things; everything has been fine and/or dandy! Last week, we spent a good portion of our time in the South Shore (my home region).


During which, fellow South Shorer, Ms. Gillian Ferrier got to perform at her former High School...





Adam "Banye West" & Kim "Kimbo Slice" Parkhill shopping in Sobeys in Digby in full makeup. The townspeople hated them passionately.

The best labeling of a Recycling bin I have ever laid my eyes on...



During the week, I had the chance to spend an evening in Lunenburg with the family (Mom, Dad, Niece, cat, dog, etc), and had a lovely visit.

The visit turned out to be a timely one as it was my first time being home in a couple months, and I got to have some intense hangouts with my 16 year old dog CoCo (notice the case sensitive spelling of her name); took her for a walk, played ball, let her lick my face.

On Saturday morning, I recieved a call from my Mother who informed me that she had to put CoCo down. Le fucking sigh. I just wanted to give a shout out to my pup. I will never watch My Dog Skip again. Everybody says it, so I guess I will too: She was the best ever. I love you CoCo...



In other news, there's not that much news. We're taking the tour back down to the South Shore tomorrow morning until Friday.

In blog news, expect the first installment of "The Chronicles of Glen Matthews: Building the GlenJMpire" at some point this week.

The installments will catch you up on everything that has lead up to me being the impeccable performer I am today, from backyard wrestling (Ultimate Wrestling Championship), to making my first film (Mugshots).


Myself as my alter-ego, Brocus, the Slovakian Backyard Wrester.

I will teach you how I became the man I am today. Up next, we will start from the beginning, I will take you to the year 1997 when I joined an internet based radio show called "Brew Crew Radio".

Stay tuned, you bastards!

"I'm not dead!

Alright, I know last time, I apologized for not updating the blog in two weeks; well now it's been three weeks since that update. I'm not going to apologize. I'm not. What I am going to do is offer you the equivalent of a back-rub in the form of a kickarse blog update (and yes, a happy ending is included).



Three weeks! Holy shit! Man, I really don't know what has happened since the last update, (I really have to cutback on the smack) but I was lucky enough to have a series of photographs to jog my memory...



Apparently, the annual holiday of "Halloween" occurred during the past three weeks, sooo, happy halloween??



For some odd, inexplicable reason, the town of Glooscap has decided to have a terrifying twenty foot tall replica of an incredibly furious red E.T. Extraterrestrial-esque native Indian greet visitors to their town.



Are they serious?

In regards to less-horrifying blogging, we were lucky enough to perform at Mi'kmawey Elementary School (in Chapel Island) where we managed to hangout after the show with the kids...





Not one of those little bastards would share their Froot-Rollups!

Another school we visited thought that (according to the paintings on their walls) that Cool Girls have hot pink hair and that black people have yellow eyes (similar to Predator)...



Along our travels, we had the pleasure of spending a week in Cape Breton as we drove the entire Cabot Trail (and managed to fit some work in sometimes)...

The following is the fab four ourselves posing in front of a cliff of the Cape Breton Highlands...



...and Darcie staying "at least 10 feet away" from the edge...



More beauty supplied by the highlands...



Some quality graffiti created by the students of a high school in CB...



The van getting stuck on the Cape Breton side for a while as a boat passes through the causeway...



And now, a lovely little note the students from Walter Duggan Elementary School decided to write for us...



Finally, earlier today I experienced a truly fantastic moment. I finally have made it. No ifs, ands, or butts.



There we were, our names in the lights! Right between "Photo Retakes" and "Remembrance Day"; that right there is two important fucking days!!

Seven weeks down. Six weeks to go! Shizer!

5,000+ KM

I would like to apologize for my 'lax blog maintenance; it has been nearly 2 weeks since we last caught up, and I feel horrible for losing touch. Put some tea on, sit down, shut up and read all of the following words I type (and enjoy)...


Apparently I had a sizable "boner" during this Kodak moment.

Just today, we managed to surpass the 5,000 km mark for our voyage thus far! This evening, I am in a hotel in Antigonish watching some quality cable television and enjoying the luxury of "Free WiFi Wireless Internet!" The past two weeks have been busy ones; we got to spend approximately 22 hours (yes, in total) on the lovely isle of Prince Edward.



Our visit to the island consisted of arriving, eating, sleeping, and performing. We did happen to learn from a school that the mud on PEI is red because of copper. Fascinating!

We crossed "The World's Longest Covered Bridge" in Hartland...




We went to Pugwash two separate times in a week where Kim hurt herself by using her shin to combat a piece of wood...



A stitch was required to close the wound... poor Kimbo.



Another interesting plot point to our visit in Pugwash, was the children's amazement at our arrival. We had a mob of dozens of kids standing around asking if we were the Doodlebops (a popular children's television show). Apparently, someone amongst the teaching staff thought it would be a good idea to let the younglings think that The Doodlebops were coming to their school.



Who can blame them?


Shnacks.


I like to call this piece, "Dicking around in a mall".


Myself in my 'Eric' attire for 'Bump In The Night' as I spy on children.

One thing that I would like to bring up that hasn't been touched on as of yet, that is the two people who are solely responsible for the dummies used in 'Liars'...



A big thanks goes out to Kevin and Theresa for their hard work and dedication, as they are living inside of the dummies for the entire duration of the tour. These guys are sports. Keep it up guys!



That's all for now! Next week we are headed to Cape Breton for the entire week so we shall have some stories to tell! Speak to you soon. Merry Christmas!

New Nouveau Brunswick

Whoa there! We just got back (on Friday) from putting on the first shows EVER in New Brunswick by Neptune Theatre! We're kind of a big deal.



Prepare yourself for plenty of photographs paired with witty one-line summaries!

Our first stop in ye olde New Brunswick was Chipman Forest Avenue School which happens to be Mrs. Kim "The Feather" Parkhill's former stomping grounds!



Afterwards, we headed to Kim's uncle's cabin (where we would be staying on Monday, Tuesday and some o' Wednesday). He just so happens to be a plastic surgeon so we were located primarily square in the middle of the lap of luxury for a few days..



P.I.M.P... 'nuff said.



Upon the sight of the monstrous cabin, Bayne lost control of all sexual urges and inserted himself into one of our dummies.



To combat cabin fever, Gill & Adam combated each other.



I'm not sure how, but Adam received a bloody lip from one Ms. Gillian Ferrier. One tough cookie.



Hot & Steamy.



Mr. Darcy "Agassi" Lindzon celebrating on OUR own tennis court.



..something Kim thought was worth taking a picture of.

During my time at the cabin, I spent a copious amount of time nature-hiking where I wrote, walked, broke sticks, and experienced the best nature has to offer including frogs, canadian geese, and a beaver (or a loch ness monster)...



Three days came, and three days went and the day came for us to leave the cabin. We moved on to a motel, did a couple shows and made our way home. On our way to Halifax, we stopped at a Big Stop where a truck accidentally scratched our door, and continued to leave; it's okay though because I got their licence plate on my cell phone...



And last but not least, I would like to share with all of you, a little piece of me, a little piece of who I am, and that is, my uncontrollable desire for comparing myself to Jesus H. Christ...



Until next time, reach for the stars!