Building the GlenJMpire: Chapter Two.

CHAPTER TWO:
“JUNIOR HIERARCHY”
September 1998 to February 1999

September 1998. New bus route. New book-bag. It’s off to Junior High School at Centre Consolidated.



I already know a handful of chums from playing minor hockey with the Lunenburg Falcons so the whole “us versus them” mentality is minimal. However, there are about three grades of lady folk whom I have never laid my eyes on… three grades of women in need of impressing.

Despite 1998 being the golden age of professional wrestling, I knew that my backyard wrestling skills were not the way to a woman’s heart.



My involvement in Ultimate Wrestling Championship would have to be kept secret, for the sake of my place in the junior high school hierarchy.

In my spare time after school, I was obsessed with UWC. Drawing designs for posters, or costumes for wrestlers, practicing moves on my Alf teddy bear, creating our championship belt…



Rather than using my extracurricular time to take part in school affairs (and possibly impress girls), my life was encompassed by backyard wrestling.

One particular weekend in October, we had our second PPV (short for pay-per-view) Hell & Back and I brought the VHS (short for video-home-system) into school on Monday to give to Scott, when we decided to set up a TV and watch it during recess. A [very] small crowd gathered to watch the video, and laugh at the Disco Stu’s and The Bum’s of UWC “wrestling” in Scott’s backyard.

We had a following. Approximately 5 apathetic fans.

UWC pay-per-view #3, Unnatural Disaster was happening in late October. It was beginning to get cold outside and the minor hockey season was starting back up soon, so we figured this would be the last pay=per-view until the Spring season.

Joining the roster of UWC were Matthew Tanner as [the punk rock murderer] Misfit, Taylor Daurie as [the native Indian] Chief, and Evan Mosher as [yet another offensive wrestler] Alfred the Retard.

UWC PPV#3: Unnatural Disaster
-Saffire def. Jerry the Jolting Jew
-Misfit def. Fishin' Frank
-Pec Parka def. Johnny Jerk-Off
-Cheif def. Will Bates
-the Bum def. Jim the Janitor
-Brocus def. Alfred the Retard
-Johnny Jerk-Off def. Morbid

Three ppv’s in the bag, and we were in hiatus for the Winter… lame. It was back to another tour of duty with the Lunenburg Falcons.



Jump ahead a few months…

Shortly into 1999, my fellow Lunenburg Falcon, UWC founder and dear friend, Scott Bailey, had begun hanging out with classmate Mike Nauss, who ran a Tom Green fan site. Mike had used his tech skills to start an internet-based radio show called Brew Crew Radio, in which himself, Scott, Jeff Rodenhizer, and Corey Morash would discuss certain non-relevant topics, prank phone call innocent civilians, and call kids at school fat.

It was one of the first podcasts on the internet. And I wanted in on this barbaric ritual.

I demanded Scott hand over Mike’s email, and next weekend I was taking part in Brew Crew Radio’s Episode #3. I was horrendously nervous (mic fright?), and I contributed absolutely shit-all.

I was really down on myself and I wanted to go back to backyard wrestling. My venture into internet-radio was a failure. Luckily, Brew Crew Radio only lasted one more episode before being innovated. The innovation, would be the addition of video taped segments to the website. There was hope!

The now defunct Brew Crew Radio, was now known as Brew Crew Productions.


This was something I could potentially sink some teeth into…