Saturday morning, I heard of a book signing by my child-hood hero Bret "The HitMan" Hart at the Costco in Bayers Lake, so I got my shit together and I trekked out to encounter The Hitman. My first stop in Bayers Lake was Chapters to pick up his book. I arrived at Costco shortly before noon (the scheduled start time for the book signing).
There was a huge line up, and I was informed that there were people who arrived at 8:00am, but I was alright for standing around for a few hours to meet my hero. They (Costco) were issuing tickets to the patrons to regulate the line. After 45 minutes in the lineup to get a ticket to grant me access to the real line, I was at the front of the line...
It was at this pivotal time in my life when the Costco-monkey informed me that she had just given away the very last ticket. The very last fucking ticket! I proceeded to ask if I could just go in and look at the man. She asked for my Costco membership card. I told her I didn't have one. She told me I couldn't see my childhood hero. I screamed "Fuck" in front of at least 30 children. I left Costco.
I then walked to Chapters and got a refund for Bret Hart's book.
It's nothing against The Hitman himself. I still absolutely love him, but I can't stand to look or listen to him. Not after that. I was so close to meeting my childhood hero, and the only thing keeping us apart was a Costco membership.
Thus, I shopped for a new book, and a new childhood hero, and I picked up "The Greedy Bastard Diary" written by my new childhood hero, Eric Idle.
1 comment:
an incredible story of woe. i wonder what meeting the 'hitman' would have been like? would he have suplexed you? maybe not. if you did get to the front of the line, you should have asked him if he was pissed about his nickname being stolen and used for a successful video game franchise and unsuccessful movie.
by my count, eric idle is much better anyways...every sperm is sacred.
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